January
The year starts with a sniffle as H3N2 - otherwise known as the Sydney flu - wreaks havoc in the Midlands. But daytime television provides some distractions for the bedridden as This Morning with Richard and Judy instructs viewers in the delicate art of self-examination for testicular cancer. Obliging patient Alan Reeves is paid £100 to reveal all; Judy hides behind a screen, but the viewers are spared nothing.
News that a 25-year study of the pill has turned up no long-term ill effects is of no interest to 40-year-old Nicola Pridham, who is awaiting her 20th child and an entry in the record books.
February
South Wales finds itself at the centre of Britain's worst meningitis outbreak for 50 years - three people die.
Helen Palmer, Lesley Cannon and Sandra Penney win their case against Kent and Canterbury hospital after regular smear tests missed the fact that they had cervical cancer. They later seek compensation after the hospital loses its appeal against the verdict.
Europeans may have become increasingly reliant on antidepressants, according to a UN report, but US pill poppers get straight to the heart of the problem, preferring drugs that boost athletic and sexual prowess. But American spirits may be dampened by the news from scientists in Utah that mothers should allow themselves a breathing space of 18 to 23 months after giving birth to increase the chances of your next child being healthy.
March
The biggest NHS inquiry ever formally kicks off. The investigation into the deaths of up to 300 babies during or after heart surgery at the Bristol Royal Infirmary is expected to last at least 18 months.
Cancer survival rates in Britain rank among the lowest in Europe. France spends three times as much per head of population on cancer drugs; the US 10 times as much.
The government abruptly bans soyabean-oil breast implants; evidence suggests that they might not be safer than silicone. However, the 5,000 UK women who have had these implants are told to do nothing pending further evidence.
Fun and games as a report from the Family Planning Association decrees that mothers fall into seven categories. Laissez-faire or relationship-driven, anyone?
April
The Sundex forecast, alerting sunworshippers to the strength of UV rays, is launched. The sun, rather churlishly, refuses to put in an appearance.
One in five of us is dangerously overweight. But that's nothing a short spell in hospital couldn't sort out - a Nuffield Trust report reveals that hospital food is so unappealing that many patients lose weight during their stay.
Junior doctor Hilary Evans is acquitted of serious professional misconduct after a miscalculation led to a baby being injected with 100 times the correct dosage of morphine. Premature baby Louise Wood died within an hour of the overdose.
News that the poor are more likely than the well-off to die of cancer and heart disease is greeted with surprise by nobody. "Cancer survival is not a lottery," says Professor Michael Coleman of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. "Lotteries are fair."
May
Doctors are baffled as reports show that children suffer from more stomach aches during term time than during the holidays. Separate studies showing British teenagers topping European leagues for sexual diseases and pregnancy perhaps give some inkling of why they're so keen to skip classes.
The British Medical Association calls for more research on GM crops, as the Lancet warns that the distinctly unmodified smallpox virus could yet escape from labs and stick two fingers up at those manufacturers who elected to stop making the vaccine. That's all of them, by the way.
Caroline Flint, former president of the Royal College of Midwives, is cautioned by the UK Central Council for Nursing after a baby she delivered died.
The High Court rules that health secretary Frank Dobson was wrong to restrict GPs in their prescribing of Viagra. But natural pick-me-up St John's Wort is finally to be subjected to formal clinical trials.
June
It's official: anti-wrinkle creams don't work. The best way to avoid crow's feet, warns dermatologist Professor Chris Griffiths, is to wear a sunscreen every day. Glass does not provide complete protection from UV radiation, so loitering indoors or in a car won't stop the sag.
A survey reveals that one in five women have no interest in sex. Before reaching for the headache tablets, best read another report which claims that taking painkillers regularly can give you, er, headaches.
Doctors should decide whether to withdraw treatment from the terminally ill, says the BMA.
The government get tough, placing a temporary ban on cloning for medical purposes and outlawing all sports tobacco sponsorship from 2003. Oh, apart from snooker. Oh, and motor racing. They get until 2006.
July
Disgust greets the news that the Northern General hospital in Sheffield accepted an organ for transplant even though the donor's family had specified that it go only to a white patient.
Doctors back calls by their junior colleagues to ballot for strike action if disputes over hours (too many) and pay (not enough) are not met.
A European directive to cut junior doctors' hours to 48 a week will not come into force for 13 years.
Britain's first fat camp for kids is launched, but only 40 of the 150 places are filled.
A judge rules that a 15-year-old girl who refused a heart transplant is not capable of making the decision by herself, and a new vaccine against meningitis C is announced.
The official verdict on the Coca-Cola scare in Belgium, which saw children taken ill and cans cleared from shelves, is that it was no more than a case of mass hysteria. Breast milk, though, does contain 350 toxins.
August
More than sun-kissed skin is exposed in August, as embarrassing health issues are tackled head-on. "Who knows if I'm somebody who sweats more than most?" pleads Ian White, after an industrial tribunal backs the company who sacked him for being, well, smelly.
Olaf Ullman, a German television cameraman, is isolated in a Berlin hospital after a trip to the Ivory Coast. He later dies of yellow fever, but not before newspapers across Europe have prepared their readers for the continent's first ebola outbreak.
The eclipse went on behind a cloud and - despite warnings of doom and gloom, and tricky manoeuvres with pinhole cameras - there were no reports of anyone going blind.
September
Professor David Southall, best known for a project in which parents suspected of abusing their children were secretly videotaped, faces criticism from parents whose babies died or were brain-damaged after experimental incubator treatment. They claim that signatures on consent forms were forged.
As the first private casualty unit opens in Surrey (stitches from £19.50), Professor Roger Gosden, who pioneered ovarian tissue grafting, announces he is leaving the UK because of the lack of public investment in science.
A woman found dead in a remote part of Scotland is believed to have been a member of 'breatharian', a group which claims to live on light and air alone. Its leader, Jasmuheen, admits to eating the occasional biscuit. And crisps. And soup and fruit.
October
GP Harold Shipman goes on trial accused of murdering 15 women patients. Another hospital faces investigation after it is revealed that Liverpool's Alder Hey hospital had removed and stored children's organs without consent.
Alan Milburn replaces Frank Dobson as health secretary and announces £50m and 400 new consultants to fight heart disease.
Lena Zavaroni dies after a last-ditch operation (effectively a lobotomy) to cure her depressive illness and anorexia, as psychiatrists warn that many patients diagnosed as depressive might just be unhappy. Cheering news for the hairless as propecia, the world's first anti-baldness pill, arrives on these shores. The upside? A return to luscious locks. The side effects? Um, possible impotence. Take your pick.
November
Tight clothes can cause poor posture, cystitis and heartburn. No such problems for the ever-shrinking Friends star Jennifer Aniston, although experts point out that her no-carb (fat-rich, carbohydrate-free) diet can lead to heart disease and liver damage. Cherie Blair can pass on the F-plan and eat for two as her fourth pregnancy, at the age of 45, is announced - sparking an avalanche of older mum health stories.
Car crash victim Judith Riggs dies after 34 years in a coma. And Ron Johnson makes history of a different kind when he donates part of his lung to a 10-year-old Israeli girl he has never met.
December
Professor David Southall and his colleague Martin Samuels are suspended while complaints are investigated.
Doctors seek volunteers for the first clinical trials of cannabis, and Stevie Wonder steps forward for pioneering treatment that could help him to regain his sight.
The Australian army saves crucial time by abandoning the practice of stretching before exercise, after controversial claims that limbering up makes no difference to injury rates.
