Stop me if you have heard this one before. A woman and a man are having a sexual relationship. One day the woman finds out that she is pregnant. Neither is overjoyed. But their feelings differ sharply over what should happen next. She considers an abortion but decides against it.

He, though, favours termination. He may feel angry, even that he has been tricked; if he is a father already he may feel he has enough children; if young, free and single he may not relish commitment. But he goes along with the woman's wishes. That is not simply because, as a man, the decision to abort is not his to take. It is also because he regards pregnancy as primarily women's business.

Nor is this a straightforward case of shirking of responsibility. In his mind, it is her baby far more than it is his. In the end he believes it really is her right to choose.

This is a crude typification but not without a ring of truth. Do we know - or care - enough about how men feel about abortion? To what extent do - and should - their wishes influence their partners? And is there a case for giving men more legal rights over abortion decisions than they currently possess?

In a highly publicised court case, Stephen Hone, 24, from Coventry, applied to the high court for an injunction preventing his girlfriend Claire Hansell from having an abortion, due to take place yesterday. She is 12 weeks' pregnant and it may be several days before her side of the case is put before the judges. Hone's legal case, brought after he contacted the Pro-Life Alliance, is that Hansell has been examined by only one doctor instead of the two required by the 1967 Abortion Act and that no questions were asked about her physical and mental state or why she wanted a termination.

Hone's moral case is that Hansell had wanted to have a child but changed her mind after she became pregnant, without consulting him. Whatever the substance of that claim, it illustrates the sentiments sometimes harboured by men about exclusion from decisions about abortion.

Ann Furedi of the British Pregnancy Advisory Service says that even in loving relationships "men might be more inclined to think of abortion as the solution to an unwanted pregnancy than women, whereas women might be more ambivalent".

Lisa Hallgarten, who is education development officer for Education for Choice, a charity which provides resources on abortion for teachers and young people, confirms the picture: "You find that, in general, young men are much less resistant to the idea of abortion than young women. Most say they would want their girlfriends to have an abortion if the situation arose."

Yet if men, on the whole, are more willing to consider abortion, they still tend to put women's preferences first. That is true even when they would rather the pregnancy continue but the woman would not. According to Bella Scott, a BPAS counsellor: "Usually the woman's feelings have taken precedence. And whatever that decision is, the men are usually extremely supportive and caring towards their partners."

Things have changed since the 70s. Furedi says: "While men are now encouraged to share responsibility for contraception and childcare, which used to be seen very much in terms of women's rights, where abortion is concerned the view often persists that men should be shut out."

The BPAS is keen to encourage men's involvement, although little research has been done into how this might be achieved. However, Dr Ellie Lee, a lecturer in sociology at Southampton University, learned more about how men think from her studies on women's decisions on abortion. "There has been a massive change in the way men want to be involved in all areas of fertility and that shows very clearly in what women say."

Lee found that women put their partners' views centre stage: "When I asked women why they had requested an abortion, they all talked about their relationships and how their partners had reacted. What partners think is key to the decisions women make. There is no reason to believe it is less of a big deal for men. It is clear that they feel at an emotional level the same way women do, and like to be involved in the process."

This was true of Richard Lawrenson, a designer in his mid-30s. Ten years ago, he and his girlfriend of the time found out she was pregnant. Although together for a year, it was, he says, "by no means clear that we would stay together for the rest of our lives". They hadn't planned a child. Yet Richard recalls many conflicting feelings: "Like most men, I just hadn't thought about it. Suddenly, all sorts of scenarios race through your mind. I couldn't help thinking about what names we might choose, or what it would be like to go to a football match with a little boy who looked just like me. I veered between feeling great compassion towards my partner, and being incredibly selfish."

But he always knew, deep down, what his position was. "I wanted to be involved in the process of reaching a decision, but I also recognised that, in the end, the decision should ultimately be hers."

This seems an ideal guiding principle. Men's feelings matter, but to contemplate giving them legal powers to force women to either have abortions or not is appalling and absurd. As Lee says: "The appeal to men's rights is that a pregnant woman should be obliged to do something with her body that no one else is obliged to do. For a third party to be able to compel a woman to save a foetus goes way beyond existing principles of medical law. Clearly men can be hurt if a woman's decision on abortion isn't the one they want, but I think that should be seen as part and parcel of what goes with a relationship. Conflicts always occur, and it is always far better to resolve them through consenus."

So how did things work out for Lawrenson's relationship after the termination? "There was a period when things did feel a bit awkward, but it wasn't what spoiled things in the end. In fact, having the abortion allowed it to run its course, and carry on at the pace we wanted. It ended later, but for other reasons."

However, ultimately, the question of rights is indivisible. In Furedi's words: "If it comes to the crunch, the decision has to be between a woman and her doctor. No one else."