The thing about being a parent is, unlike a job, you don't get holiday entitlement. There is no statutory four weeks off a year, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve to sneak away for a spot of rest and relaxation every now and again. In fact, having just done it, I'd say it was an absolute essential. But where can you go for a deliciously girly, pampering weekend that doesn't take for ever to get to, won't pour down with rain and makes you feel thoroughly, deservingly special and spoiled?
The hotel Byblos Andaluz is situated between Malaga and Marbella, settled tidily into the rolling Andalucian hills. While the Costa del Sol has a rough and ready reputation, particularly Fuengirola, the nearest town to the Byblos, the area is surrounded by lush golf courses. And where there is golf, there is luxury - and serious money. Cheap and cheerful it isn't. I'll probably never get over paying the peseta equivalent of £8 for a beautifully garnished and presented cheese 'n' ham toastie. A toastie is a toastie, and the garnish wasn't caviar. What can you say?
What you are paying for at the Byblos is a room to die for, a view to kill for and the seamless service which finds you refilled, refuelled and refreshed at every turn. The decor is splendid and stylish. Set against traditional Andalucian tiling, trickling fountains and shady courtyards are carefully manicured gardens, a formal library and a glass-lined lounge with sofas so enormous they could easily swallow you whole.
The guests were a mixed bag: in one corner, a raft of corpulent businessmen on a golfing jolly; in another, a honeymoon couple. It was easy to be a couple of lone females and never feel intimidated or hassled. And let's not forget the celebrity clientele who have sampled the ultimate in rejuvenation - Chris Evans and Billie, Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffiths, Julio Iglesias, Vanessa Feltz, Geri Halliwell, and some years ago, Princess Diana, who apparently had a whale of a time on a girls' weekend (but, according to one member of staff "had a sadness in her eyes . . .").
What the staff don't know about pampering isn't worth knowing. Attached to the hotel is the Thalassotherapy Centre, containing a heated sea-water pool, beauty clinic, and several corridors of spartan, white-tiled rooms housing a myriad of exotic pampering and medical equipment. Although I'm not the kind of person who usually goes to health farms, there was something irresistible about the range of therapies on offer. Inexplicably keen on rejuvenating "tired legs", the centre also offers anti-cellulite massage, lymphatic drainage, reflexology, aromatherapy and the intriguingly named "underwater shower". I tried the Seaweed Coating (à la Chris Evans), in which you are thoroughly sloshed with evil green gunk then popped under a human-sized grill. Once "done", the algae (which smells like the underside of Brighton Pier), is showered off. The gunk may go, but the odour lingers for an uncomfortably long time.
I also tried the Bubbling Bath, a cumbersome, clinical bathing machine ominously resembling a high-tech execution chamber, which sent me into a semi-sleep after five minutes.
There is no pressure to take any therapies and many visitors go no further than a dip in the salt-water pool. The Beauty Clinic offers facials using La Prairie products, which are in the top price bracket for cosmetics and beauty treatments. Expect to pay about £50 for an hour's facial - but bear in mind it may be the best one you ever have.
The proximity of Byblos to Marbella, Malaga and Mijas meant that we ate out in the evenings, returning to the comfort of the hotel for coffee and drinks before bed. Watching the sun go down over the pool, while the open-air restaurant twinkled with fairy lights was a fitting end to the relaxing days. And the beds are so sumptuous that it seemed almost criminal to spend anything less than the maximum amount of time available in them.
Out and about
If snoozing by the pool begins to lose its appeal, there are towns and villages nearby where you can indulge your taste for culture. A couple of trips by taxi into the outside world is entirely possible, even if you are only staying for a long weekend. Or you can borrow a mountain bike from the hotel and explore the surrounding countryside - but be warned, it is hilly.
Mijas
This Moorish hillside village is bursting at the seams with leather and ceramic shops, bars and cafés, but you are just as likely to see a procession of donkeys on their homeward journey up the narrow, whitewashed streets as you are to see a stream of mopeds burning their way downhill to the nightlife of Fuengirola. It is worth having at least one meal here, because after the Byblos, everything seems so incredibly cheap.
Must see: The view.
Marbella
Despite Marbella's reputation as a high-rise playground for the rich and famous, nothing could be simpler or prettier than the pedestrianised old town. At its centre lies the Plaza de los Naranjos (Orange Square) with a 17th-century fountain and a 16th-century town hall virtually hidden among the orange trees and chinese lanterns. Stop at a restaurant for churrios (a large snaking doughnut that covers an entire dinner plate) at the Churreria Ramon, and don't forget to ask for chocolate sauce for dipping.
For tapas, leave the square and wander the tiny streets. You'll be spoiled for choice. We tried the Restaurante Ox, Virgen del los Dolores 3, where six individual dishes plus a jug of san gria came to just over £12.
Away from the old town, large concrete buildings loom, and apart from a quick detour to Mango and Zara to buy clothes at roughly 30% less than in England, a flying visit to Marbella should centre on the old town.
Must see: The Museo del Gravado Espanol Contemporaneo, Calle Hospital Bazan, for work by Dalí, Picasso and Miró.
Malaga
The very lively city has long, palm-lined boulevards, hundreds of cafés and restaurants, and a port. To explore the city properly takes at least a day, but for a potted visit, take in the Cathedral (La Manquita) and some of the best handbag shopping in the world.
Must see: Casa Natal de Picasso, Plaza de la Merced 15, where Picasso was born.
Way to go
Getting there: Leading Hotels of the World (00800 28888882, lhw.com) offers three nights' room-only accommodation at Byblos Andaluz from €246.45 per room per night, based on two sharing. British Airways (0845 7733377, britishairways.com) flies London Heathrow and Gatwick to Malaga from £127pp return.
