THE TWENTYSOMETHING COUPLE
Chloe, 25 The Sex Book is a good introduction but it doesn't go into enough detail. We tried one of the positions but it didn't really work because the diagrams don't give you enough information to pull it off. It was reassuring about certain things you may have been worried about, like not always coming during penetrative sex. The trouble is you can't read the book and have sex at the same time. You've got to memorise what you need and then try it out. It ruins the spontaneity.
Sam, 25 It's not a very useful reference book, although I felt the benefit of Chloe reading the boys' section. She had better techniques than she might have had before reading it. And it drummed into me that you really have to listen to you partner, which I hadn't done too much of before. The pictures were very odd though. It was as if they were trying to be trendy but it didn't work. There's one picture of two people having sex and the man has a mobile phone in his hand for no reason. It's really only a taster. If you wanted to find out more about something, you'd go on the internet.
THE GAY COUPLE
Joanna, 27 I've never been one for sex manuals. In my experience, lesbians don't tend to need instruction (you're on more than familiar territory, after all.) So I was pleasantly surprised to find that The Sex Book is neither didactic (this the the way to do it!) or prescriptive (sex toys can save your relationship!). Instead it is an impressively comprehensive and stylishly presented blend of all the things you didn't know about sex (along with some of the things you did).
Alice, 33 I was slightly put off by the picture of a man measuring his penis on the first page, but on the whole I have never felt less ghettoised by my gender or sexual orientation. This is one long orgy of a book where anyone can do anything to anyone else in whatever way they please and in whatever combination. Surely this is the point of sexuality? Although the advice is gender-specific, the message is that sex, conducted responsibly, and -- dare I say it - with love, kindness and respect, is a basic human right to be relished at every opportu nity. Soundbites from men and women from 16 to 60 made me feel that, if I chose, I could belong to a unified somewhat raunchy nation of sexual beings.
THE THIRTYSOMETHING COUPLE WITH CHILDREN
Anne, 35 They say that food is the new sex, and The Sex Book has clearly decided to package sex as food. The format and glossiness makes it feel like a posh cookbook. But the difference between real food and a cookbook is the same as the difference between real sex and a sex book... it doesn't come close. Having said that, each page has a column of quotes from real people talking about their sex lives and these are touching, cringing and hilarious. I particularly liked the comment of Aurelie, 18, from France: 'When he goes down on me, I wish he would just stay there, because it feels much nicer than what happens next...'
Robert, 36 Having young children and a dog means that we have grown used to 'snatching' moments for sex. The old days of boozy dinners, scented candles and an oily massage before bed are long gone. Now it's 'Quick, we're the only ones in the bed...' This means that reviewing a 300-page sex manual provokes mixed feelings: of awe at the sheer ingenuity of people and a sense of resentment that they have so much time. Flicking through the book, I felt a bit like a world-weary worker looking at travel brochures. The only difference being that I didn't see anywhere I fancied visiting.
THE FIFTYSOMETHING COUPLE
Janet, 52 Having been in a relationship for a long time, we didn't pick up anything that would turn us on that we don't already do. It's not a sensual book; it's big and heavy and absolutely not a turn-on. We're the generation who read The Joy of Sex, which I learned from at the time, but I'm not sure who this is for in 2002. It is very comprehensive; it's like our Reader's Digest All You Need to Know About Houseplants or our family medicine book.
Tim, 57 It lacks passion and humour, and sex without those things is no fun. It's more open about alternative sexualities than The Joy of Sex, but it's not particularly classy to look at. It wouldn't make a bad wedding present to a very naïve couple. Anything goes, and everything from straightforward intercourse to bizarre practices are treated with an equal solemnity. It's not something couples would enjoy reading together. There are chapters 'for him' and chapters 'for her', and it would have been more fun if it were a shared experience.
