Ever since the blood bath that was my A-level results, I've had a fear of tests. Not just the academic variety, but everything from eye tests to those awful "what type of lover are you?" questionnaires. Give me a test and the only thing I can guarantee is that I'll fail it. Hence my initial reluctance to try out the Beauty Imaging System, at SK-II in Selfridges, London. Not only can BIS tell how your skin is likely to age, but it compares it with that of other women of your age and generic ethnicity (I say generic because the machine was clearly designed with other markets in mind - I had to plump for African-American), then it gives you a mark out of a 100. So basically, it's a test.
After a brief consultation, I am led into a space age photo booth by Tracey Wilmot, the training manager for SK-II. The camera takes a picture of my face, and the image appears on a computer screen in front of us. Texture, fine lines, pores and skin tone are measured and scored out of 100 (as compared with the details of 3,500 other women).
The first images that come up turn my face into a map of contour lines; clusters, of which there are a few, show problem areas. Next, it's bar charts. Mine are tall and blue, which Tracey tells me means my scores are above average. Encouraged, I ask for my exact scores. Tracey indulges me. For tone, my skin scores 88, pores, 93, texture, 93, and fine lines, 99. I've never got 99 out of 100 for anything, apart from a kissing contest once, but let's not go into that.
"Would you like to know what age your skin compares with?" asks Tracey. Barely has she uttered the words "your skin texture is comparable with that of an 18-year-old girl," before I'm out of the door and on the phone to my friend Lucy. "You rang me to tell me what score your skin got in some test?" "Yes, go on guess." "I have no idea." "Guess." "Three thousand years old?" "Don't ruin it, guess properly." "Well, the fact that you're ringing..." "Eighteen. I have the skin of an 18-year-old, isn't that great?" "Not that you're competitive or anything."
