Let me get one thing straight: I rather liked Beckham's braids - while they lasted. As a rule, I like most things Beckham does: well, apart from the speaking thing, but even that has improved. But the braids surprised me. Not the fact that he had them: few things that man does surprise (unless you're a goalkeeper). But my reaction to them did.
Usually, I can't see beyond Bo Derek when I see a white person with braids. They're right up there with toe rings, sarongs and waiters as things that may work on holiday but should never be transferred to real life. Of course, that's part of the point: the odd game of football apart, Beckham's life is one big holiday. So, did his braids offend me? Of course not, they're a hairstyle - besides, you know what they say about imitation. Beckham's love of all things rap is well known, and as more and more black guys are copying rap stars and getting their hair braided, if Beckham thought he could carry them off, why shouldn't he give them a go?
Actually, the braids made me smile. I'm desperate to know how far he went, and why he changed his mind about them after such a short time. Did he have a can of the wonderfully kitsch Luster's Pink Plus 2-N-1 Scalp Soother and oil sheen in his bathroom cabinet (complete with pictures of smiling black women)? Did anyone tell him he could have avoided burning his head if he'd used Luster's Pink Sheen, which contains sunscreen. If the plaits were too tight, did anyone mention that filling a plant sprayer with water and spraying in between the plaits would relieve the tension? Did he sleep in a hair net, or one of Victoria's silk scarves, to keep the braids tidy for as long as possible? And if he was having trouble sleeping because of the tightness of his head (black women don't bother with Botox; they just get braids), a couple of ibuprofen would have eased the pain.
Most importantly of all, however, Beckham should have invested in a good scalp oil, else he'd have ended up with an itchy, red, flaky scalp - and that's a look that doesn't work on anyone, no matter what colour.
