Ok, you've got a place at uni and you're gearing up to leave home; you're so outta there. Well, as 'tough love' is all the rage in the Big Bad World, I'm sorry but there are three hard rules you should know about striking out on your own.

The first is that Rousseau said: 'Man is born free, but is everywhere in chains' (though obviously not quite as much as when he lived with his mum and dad). The second comes from Isaac Newton, who said: 'For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.' And the third is: 'If you think your guts can cope with a Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodle for dinner every night then read rule two again.'

Yes, by the middle of November your mum's (or dad's, we're not sexist), shepherd's pie/roast lamb/faggots and white pudding terrine (insert fave nosh here) will be given a fantasy status once reserved for Rachel from S Club or the members of Busted. Forget unrequited lurve, this is unrequited bloody hunger and probably a bit of undernourishment.

Yes, I know some of you out there could show Nigella or Jamie a thing or two about quenelles and juliennes, but we're talking to the other 99.85 per cent whose idea of fending for themselves is purchasing a packet of Dairylea Dunkers (not that they're not terrifically tasty).

Food is now a whole different ball game - and we're not talking cheesy footballs. As far as you are concerned, baby, KFC is for rich people. Yes, even the £1.99 Popcorn Chicken. Unbelievable but true. Student life, you will already have heard, is designed to character-build, give you backbone, and make your belly as empty as the current line-up of So Solid Crew (time off for good behaviour notwithstanding).

You are set to get as many nagging recommendations about feeding yourself as you have had hot dinners (but only up until now, believe me). So here are a few tips for stuffing your face on practically no cash.

They're not from a top nutritionist but from some once fellow sufferers, eager to pass on knowledge that will give you the fuel for those all-night essay sessions and still leave enough money for the important things in life: Smirnoff Ice, Heat magazine and the discounted admission to the club of your choice.

1. Spicy is nicey

There's nothing that can't be jazzed up immeasurably by the purchase (preferably by some tearful loved-one before you leave home ) of some curry powder, chilli powder, soy sauce and Worcester sauce. One bloke we know used to dine regularly on bread curry when the grant ran low. This involved toasted bread, water and, er, curry powder.

The thought of this, of course, will make your guardians come over all peculiar, but it's low-fat, rich in carbohydrates and costs less than that old stalwart, the Mars Bar on toast (yes, you might well get that desperate and decadent). But, OK, it does taste a bit crap, so how to avoid stooping that low?

2. Beans are a blast

And not just in the obvious way, though you might want to consider their explosive goodness if living communally. So-called 'value brands' cost about 9p a tin (even you can afford them) and are filling, nutritious and have a yummy tomato sauce that lends itself to all of the above spices (and contains lycopenes which are really, really cool anti-cancer thingies).

A couple of tins of beans, canned chopped tomatoes (which are also laughably cheap) and one packet of sausages, cut into thirds, with curry or chilli powder (natch) will feed loads of you.

3. Fish is fab

D'you know, this is true. Yer old Auntie Ethel wasn't having you on, fish is bloomin' brilliant for the brain. For potential science undergrads, here's why. Fish is rich in this stuff called DHA and the brain is one of its biggest consumers in the body.

DHA has been linked to levels of erotonin, the substance which causes a lovely natural high (yes, note the word 'natural') that stops you festering in bed until EastEnders starts or stabbing your professor in the leg with an HB pencil.

If all this evidence leaves you cold, I would simply point out that a fish finger and fried egg sarnie is one of the unsung pinnacles of gourmet eating

4. Don't veg out, veg up

No, this doesn't mean you should live off cabbage soup (that's for rich Hollywood stars who want to give Skeleta Flockhart a run for her money). But think of mushrooms grilled with a blob of butter and a smidge of garlic, or any vegetables you fancy stir-fried with a splash of soy sauce and served with pasta. You get all your vits and, more importantly, you can cook 'em in the few minutes between your last lecture and when you head off to the local theme pub (it's fine, you're legal now).

5. Water is whey-hey

OK, this sounds pretty obvious but chances are one of the only things included in the rent for your des res accommodation (think institutional halls, think decrepit shared house) is the clear stuff. So you've got to take full advantage, right? Obviously you should drink some neat, though actually it's surprisingly good with a splash of supermarket vodka and some lime cordial. But also add it to any almost ingredient with the (by now) vital spices, and maybe a stock cube, and you have a soup or casserole, made in one pot for minimal washing-up.

6. Junk is gunk

Here's the hard but true bit. Processed food may be a no-brainer, but it is really expensive, won't give you all the must-haves for that expanding brain the size of Salford of yours and it all tastes the same after a while, don't ask me why. It's really tempting to think that you're a candidate for Can't Cook, Won't Cook but, blimey, now you've left home you can experiment with anything you like.

So the key, I guess, is imagination. But frankly, who has time for that when you're getting to grips with new friends, new subjects, new places and a new you? Well, luckily there are people who have made a living out of doing that bit for you. Log on to yumyum.com for lots of sensible ideas.

And stop that interfering Auntie Ethel in her tracks with a request for one of the useful books listed below. They'll really give you food for thought.

Survival Guide to Cooking in the Student Kitchen by Susan Crook, £4.99 (used copies £1.99 on Amazon.co.uk); Starving Student's Cookbook, Starving Student's Vegetarian Cookbook by Dede Hall, £8.99 (used copies £3.30 on Amazon) Student Grub by Jan Arkless, £1.99