I have always been curious about soul-searching holidays. So here I am at a nondescript hotel in Torremolinos, meeting point for a week-long trip to Cortijo Romero, and it's not difficult to pick out my fellow passengers on this journey of self-discovery. They're largely women of a certain age, wearing comfortable trousers and serious expressions. There are a couple of men, too, looking pale and tense as they board the waiting coach. We begin the two-hour drive into the Alpujarra mountains, and as the depressing outskirts of Malaga melt into sweeping hills dotted with olive trees, I start to wonder whether this holistic retreat is in fact some kind of Betty Ford clinic for agitated, middle-aged, vegetarian singles.

Cortijo Romero offers 20-hour weekly courses with names like 'Finding Your Poetry' and 'The Courage to Change' in a converted farmhouse surrounded by lush gardens nestled in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada. The course I am enrolled on is 'Dealing with Stress'. Before we even begin, I have to deal with the stress of sharing a room. In the interests of research I am prepared to be bunked up for the week with a tree-hugging, hairy-armpitted hippie. After all, I 'm partial to a joss-stick or two. But, as it turns out, my room-mate is both smooth and charming, and although she is a woman of the cloth, she has no objection to my blundering in at 2am having spent the first evening in the courtyard with two alternative therapists and a teacher, swapping stories about life-changing moments of joy and gut-wrenching loss over several bottles of local wine.

Next morning, at the first de-stressing session, 20 strangers sit in a circle and introduce themselves. Everyone has a difficult issue to deal with, from troublesome partners to bereavement. Mine, I reveal to the room, is talking in front of large groups of people. But although I have already been forced to come clean about being a journalist, the first session passes in a pulse-racing interrogation about my 'hidden agenda'. Suddenly my most stress-inducing scenario is being played out for real and I haven't even had the chance to prepare. I'm getting palpitations and sweaty palms.

After a short yoga lesson I go for a restorative dip in the pool. But what's this? All around me people are starkers, and some of them are massaging each other. I retreat to the orchard, realising I am not as in touch with my inner hippie as I'd thought, and that I have always been suspicious of people with all-over tans.

Mobile phones are, naturally, banned in public places at Cortijo Romero. So I head off at dusk into the bushes and unburden myself at huge expense to sympathetic friends back home. But they are not so interested in my feelings of alienation from the group as in the fact that there might be nude sunbathing and naked yoga going on, which of course there is.

Still, it's only the second day, and when the bell rings for breakfast we all file like apprentice nuns into the kitchen where I chum up with a few of the other course members. There's Dawn, a hypnotherapist from Brighton, and Patricia, a sociologist on a mission to change her life. There's Ray, a management consultant with a quiet humour to whom I am instantly drawn, and Lynn, a project manager with an infectious grin. Then there's Anne, a wedding singer with possibly the loudest voice I've ever heard.

Later, still feeling a little fragile after my baptism of fire, I find myself blubbing as a mother-baby role-play exercise kicks off the day's session. Some of the group are encouraged to assume a foetal position in the middle of the room while others comfort them. The atmosphere is highly charged, the silence occasionally broken by quiet sobs. I'm starting to develop an eye twitch and I can't remember when I felt this bad - except maybe yesterday.

Then, that evening, things start to look up. A breakaway group invites me to join them for a trip to the local village of Orgiva. The story is that we're going to the internet cafe for news from home. But as we slip through the iron gates there are whoops and screams of joy and relief. 'It's like Prisoner Cell Block H in there,' says one of my fellow escapees.

We pass the night at a couple of bars - women behaving badly, chatting about breast enlargement, sex toys, the blokes at Cortijo Romero and the effects of our vegetarian diet. 'I've shifted major stuff in my head but it's all coming out of my bowels,' Anne shrieks. We're so loud that the locals are moving away from our table. Dogs are howling. We've had a skinful for just eight euros apiece and, over the course of the evening, firm friendships are made.

Next day there is rebellion in the ranks. The group is split between those who want to continue with the therapy sessions, and others who just want to learn how to relax. We spend nearly the whole session deciding what to do. I'm beside myself with frustration. It's like taking part in a committee meeting where everyone is being falsely reasonable when you know they want to kill each other.

Then something extraordinary happens. Anne Dale, our warm-hearted facilitator, hypnotises the group and for the first time in months I feel totally relaxed. My body sinks into the floor and I can hardly get up again. Even the thought of all that cheap wine in the fridge fails to rouse me from my slumber, and I conclude that Anne is a genius.

So it is at Cortijo Romero. There are massive highs and terrible lows; days when you wish you were somewhere - anywhere - else and others when you feel you know yourself properly for the first time in your life. And despite the rigorous regime and forced intimacy, you realise that there can be comfort in the company of sympathetic strangers.

On your way

Cortijo Romero (01494 782720, www.cortijo-romero.co.uk) offers a year-round programme of personal development courses covering areas such as yoga, dance, storytelling, creative writing and stress management. Most courses are seven days and cost £405 including food, accommodation and up to 20 hours of course activity.

Transfers from Malaga airport to Cortijo Romero cost £35. Flights from Gatwick to Malaga were provided by EasyJet (easyjet.com; 0871 7500 100). To book this or a range of other holistic holidays contact Neal's Yard Agency (0870 444 2702; nealsyardagency.com).