I recently told a friend who'd spent a lot of time on her birth plan to read over it a few times and then tear it up and chuck it in the bin. Cynical, I know, but I just cannot see why anyone should be encouraged to "plan" their birth. It's just not realistic to plan anything unless you have an elective C-section.
Ghosty

I tried everything to start labour off: cervical sweep, sex, bumpy car rides, jumping down the stairs (!), hot curries, pineapple juice. But none of it worked. I think you just have to accept that, without severe medical intervention, the baby will come in its own time. Not that this makes it any easier when you're waiting.
Gillymac

I seem to remember a friend saying that if you can talk lucidly on the phone to the hospital through a contraction then it's probably too early to go in. I went in when I thought they were getting to the point that I could no longer cope.
SoupDragon

During labour, I found it helpful to know that the uterus is the strongest muscle in the body and the only one that doesn't revert to its previous shape when it relaxes. This means that every contraction is a step forward, with no steps back. It is quite easy to visualise this as it's happening.
Copper

Something to bear in mind if you have a ventouse is that it's not unusual for the vacuum seal between the ventouse cap and the head to be broken. This makes the most terrible noise and sounds like something ghastly has happened, but it's nothing at all to worry about - they just have another go.
Isbee

If you tear, I would recommend a warm bath with lavender oil as often as you possibly can and, as gross as it sounds, drying with a cool hairdryer rather than a towel.
Candy

My second daughter was transverse and then breach. I found a website which told you various methods to turn a baby. Among the more amusing suggestions was shining a light up your bottom (the baby is supposed to turn to the light) but the one which seemed to work for me was lying on my back with my bottom raised up in the air on several cushions. It was pretty uncomfortable but it really worked - I was lying there one day when I felt all this squirming around. Sure enough she had turned round.
Caroline5

The midwife said to me, "If you run away from the pain it will follow you, but if you turn towards it, it can only reach halfway." It was just what I needed to hear, and it really helped. Sobernow

I had hypnotherapy before my second son's birth to wipe out the memories of the first birth. I found it really helped.
SoupDragon

Do not let your partner sort out your leaving-hospital clothes. I left hospital in chunky walking trainers, no socks and a skirt in February with snow on the ground. As if I didn't look bad enough with that sort of moving-gingerly new-mum waddle.
Bozza

Stick a note on the front door telling everyone your baby's details with a note saying, "please do not disturb unless urgent".
SoupDragon

Don't contradict the new mother or do competitive tiredness. If breastfeeding hurts, it does and if she is tired, she is! A "maternity ring" is always welcome, no matter what it costs. It's a lovely memory and token of respect. Sleep in separate bedrooms if you can't cope with the lack of sleep but do everything else and let her do the baby.
Codswallop

In my opinion the only baby essentials are a cot, a pushchair, a sling and a steriliser, as even if you're breastfeeding, it's good to able to express and store milk and take a break. The thing I wish I hadn't wasted money on was cot blankets - I should have just got a sleeping bag plus one or two cellular blankets. You don't need cot bumpers, nappy stackers, baby toiletries, baby towels and all that jazz.
Amber 1

I wish someone had told me about muslin cloths beforehand! I had to send my husband out to buy more sheets for the Moses basket as my son kept posseting on them and they needed endless washing. My mother-in-law spotted 100 sheets on the washing line (slight exaggeration) and suggested laying the baby on a muslin cloth. Why didn't I think of that?
Northerner

Don't buy a baby bath. You won't use it for long and they're a pain to fill and empty.
Angie677

I still have four unopened bottles of talc and four of baby lotion - I never used either of them. Borrow a Moses basket. The microwave steam steriliser is a marvellous thing, whereas a bottle warmer is a waste of money, as it takes too long.
Zoe

If you've had a C-section, keep a changing set upstairs and one downstairs, so that you keep the going up and down stairs to a minimum.
Biza

Don't ever, ever say to a new mum who has been trying to breastfeed a screaming newborn for about an hour, "I think the baby's hungry".
Biza

Beware of thinking you'll save yourself the trouble of cooking by ordering a takeaway. The pizza boy will ring the doorbell loudly just as your baby has gone to sleep.
Prufrock

Dads, remember to remark, quite spontaneously, on how much thinner and babe-like she's looking (this is important). If tempted to remark on how tired/stressed out you are, check your own bottom for stitches and/or general battering, and shut up.
Motherinferior

Make sure you have formula in the house, even if you're breastfeeding. My daughter was feeding constantly and was simply not satisfied by colostrum (my milk came in three days later). She was so hungry that she was still crying even when my partner took her out for a two-hour drive at 2am! We went out the next day and bought some of the ready-mixed stuff to tide us over. I would definitely get some in beforehand, given my time again.
Wickedstepmother

If you're committed to breastfeeding only, don't have formula in the house. That way, even if you're tempted, you can't give in.
Nick

Remember that formula has been used for thousands of years - tribes in the Amazon made up a version using almonds - so don't feel too bad.
Nobby

Breastfeeding is a great way to get rid of unwanted visitors - and it also gets you out of the housework. Use it wisely.
Eefs

To cope with a toddler and a baby, I try to focus on the toddler and I'm afraid the baby does get left to cry more than the toddler ever did. However, it seems to me that on balance this is the best way of coping. At just over three months, the baby loves watching his brother - especially in the bath. And breastfeeding is an ideal opportunity for story time.
Ringer

I will never get pregnant again because ... cabbage in my bra. The expense. The poverty. The brain-numbingness of being at home. The lack of freedom. Prams on buses. Everyone saying, "It only gets worse as they get older, enjoy it while you can", and you thinking, "How the hell does it get worse than this?". But it does.
Custardo

I adored being pregnant because I loved smiling secretly in meetings when no one else knew. The look on my parents' faces when we told them was priceless. Quitting work a full 11 weeks before the birth and watching the ER double bill episodes every day while eating crushed ice and ice lollies ... I can't wait to do it again.
Snickers

· Mums on Pregnancy by Carrie Longton, Justine Roberts and Rachel Foster published by Cassell.

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