So here I am on my desert island, sans Sue Lawley, but with a healthy supply of cosmetics. Obviously, I've made a couple of minor changes to the tired format. The complete works of Shakespeare has been replaced by the full script of Cutting It, my luxury is a never-ending supply of Campari and soda, which I'm not sure is allowed, and I've ditched the records altogether and opted instead for my top 10 beauty products.
This being a desert island, sun protection is obviously up there, probably in the form of the new range from Shiseido, which manages not to leave black skin covered in blue streaks and is good enough to double as a moisturiser. I'd also have to make sure I had a good lip balm, probably Crème de la Mer - yes, it's expensive, but it lasts for ever, which is just as well, given the circumstances.
The thought of having to choose just one nail varnish distressed me for a week or so, until I realised that,if I took nail varnish, I'd need remover, which seemed a bit of a waste of resources, so instead I'd bring the wonderful three-way nail buffer by Ruby & Millie, which would keep my nails super shiny, thus eliminating the need for varnish.
That dilemma dealt with, it's down to the nitty-gritty of hair removal. Yes, I know it's a desert island, but that doesn't mean I want hairy-mammoth legs or eyebrows that drag through the sand. Razor-wise, it'd be one of those pink girlie ones, you know, just in case the island had a male inhabitant and I risked getting all muddled, what with my being a woman and all. And the tweezers would simply have to be Shavata Singh's (020-8997 1089 for stockists). Haircare would consist of Bumble and bumble's shampoo, conditioner and hair creme, though, seeing as it's an island, I'm hoping I'd finally pluck up the courage to grow dreadlocks.
The more astute will have noted that I'm already up to eight items without having included any actual make-up. This is not an oversight. Good skincare and all round grooming are far more important in the long term than the latest blusher.
