Kleenex has never claimed that its new tissues stop colds: its PR spokeswoman assured me of this the moment I spoke to her. Which was odd, because I hadn't asked. Where on earth could she have thought I'd get such a crazy idea?

Could it be the name? I have spent a decade working in medicine, but the average punter might assume that "anti-viral tissues" carrying the label "kills 99.9% of cold & flu viruses in the tissue" would somehow protect you from a cold. How are they to know that viruses sitting in wiped-away snot are harmless - dead or alive. Using citric acid and soap-coated tissues does nothing more than destroy these innocent little blighters.

Shame that the journalist employed to puff the product on the press release didn't realise that the tissues had no discernible health benefits. Rachel Johnson, a columnist at the Daily Telegraph, tells us that she "leapt at the chance" to write the booklet that advertises these special new tissues. She is so keen to communicate her enthusiasm that she omits to say that a fee was involved.

"I've got three kids," she explains, "and anyone with children soon finds themselves wearily familiar with colds and flu ... So when I heard that Kleenex was introducing a new anti-viral tissue ... I thought that sounded like a brilliant idea ... If you're like me, you can ill afford to have a cold or other virus spread around your family like wildfire."

Does that sound strangely as if she thinks the tissues prevent infections? "To minimise the spread of colds," says Johnson, "we have to try to keep the family's defences up and its exposure to viruses down. With the arrival of Kleenex anti-viral tissues on the shelves ... we've all got a much higher chance of containing major cold or flu viruses in the tissue."

Hmm. A call to the Telegraph is in order. Are you sure, Rachel, that these tissues will stop your family getting ill? No, she admits, but there is definitely a chance that they "might". Which is curious, since that isn't a claim that Kleenex makes and I swore to the nice PR company woman that I wouldn't pretend that they did either.

Kleenex doesn't provide any proof that its tissues do anything useful to anyone. In the absence of research, there's every reason to suspect that they don't. Respiratory viruses sitting in a discarded tissue are no threat to anyone, and paying for special anti-viral ingredients shouldn't provide any advantages. But then Kleenex never said they did.