Guy Browning 

How to …

... be healthy. By Guy Browning.
  
  


If forced to choose between health, wealth and wisdom, most people would opt for health. That's a pretty wise choice because money can't buy health. Interestingly, in their day-to-day lives, most people choose money first, health second and wisdom last, which, not surprisingly, is pretty foolish.

Regular exercise is a vital part of staying healthy. You don't have to take up the triathlon to stay healthy. A brisk walk to the pub or doughnut shop will do equally well. Exercise is good for the soul as well as for the body. That's because it's very hard to do something foolish, dangerous or immoral when you're sweating like a kipper on a Nordic skiing machine.

Western medicine looks down on alternative medicine, which is the equivalent of binning the past 10,000 years' worth of research on the subject. People may laugh when you get your chakras realigned, but there's precious little chance of catching a fatal superbug while you're doing it.

Mind and body are intimately linked, except in the medical profession, where top surgeons have carefully separated them in a totally unnecessary operation. On the other hand, if you've lost a leg in an industrial accident, no amount of positive thinking is going to reattach it.

Obesity is an increasingly large problem. You are what you eat, which is why the British, undressed, generally look like Cheesy Wotsits. Experts will try to sell you all sorts of fancy diets, but there's really only one that works: you're not allowed to eat anything you like and you're allowed only to eat things you don't like. Remember, 99% of things you hate are exceptionally good for you.

Water is more important for health than food; you can go completely without food for years, although for most of that time you'll be dead. Experts recommend that you drink five litres of water and eat five portions of fruit and veg a day: basically if you're not squitting like a goose, you're not healthy.

They say laughter is the best medicine, which is true except when you have a sore throat. Many illnesses are stress-induced, which is why peace and quiet is a good remedy. But in real life the only time you get any peace and quiet is when you're ill. That's why, instead of "sickies", we should call them "healthies".

 

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