Downhill chairlifting

Proponents of this relatively obscure sport say it is like skiing in the sky, only slower. As you approach the top of the chairlift, prepare to leave the safety bar in place. Then instead of standing up and skiing gracefully either to the right or left, remain seated until the chair has turned around and headed back down the mountain. Enjoy the view, along with the strange sensation that what you are doing is somehow wrong. De-chair at base station, or repeat.

Hiking

Walking is a bit like skiing, especially if you walk with a pole in each hand. You will soon discover that going up the mountain is much easier without skis, and at this time of year you're more or less guaranteed an avalanche-free experience. Make sure you put on plenty of sunblock, however, and don't overdress. It can get awfully hot up there in mid-December.

Museums

While you are stuck halfway up a mountain with nothing to do, why not take the opportunity to visit a museum and learn something about Alpine culture? Examples include the Ski Museum in Kitzbuhel, the Wintersport-museum in Davos, the Ski und Heimatmuseum in St Anton, the Musée Alpin in Chamonix and the Alpines Skisportsmuseum in Murren, to name but a few. Of course there are also museums that have nothing to do with skiing, such as Gstaad's celebrated cheese museum. Perhaps more appropriately, the Swiss Alpine Museum in Bern currently has an exhibition about the effect of global warming on glaciers. Don't worry: it's now air-conditioned.

Daylife

Hanging around in the bar all day drinking was once the preserve of the lucky few skiers who had managed to break a leg early in the week, but without any snow the après-ski scene - now known as the "au-lieu-du-ski" scene - begins as soon as you can be bothered to leave the breakfast buffet. If you don't like drinking, there is always gambling. The increase in daylife also gives skiers a rare opportunity to see a less touristy side of the resort. Try doing what the locals do for a change: stand in a queue at the bank, get a haircut, visit the dentist, buy some milk, or drive 30 miles on terrible roads to a place where they sell cheap plastic garden furniture. Feeling alpine yet?

Spas

Before skiing became the popular, overarching recreational monoculture that it is today, a lot of alpine resorts sold themselves as bracing mountaintop wellness centres, and most still boast places where you can enjoy steam inhalation, massages, mineral water baths, a blast from a cold hose or a wide range of largely discredited health treatments left over from the 19th century. You could even try baking yourself in a sauna for an hour and then running outside to roll around in the ... never mind.

Shopping

Of course the vast majority of shops sell skis, ski equipment and ski clothes, but there is a lot more to be found if you know where to look. You can also purchase little bells with the name of the resort on them, hats with the name of the resort on them, teddy bears wearing hats with the name of the resort on them, strange local liqueurs with a picture of the resort on the bottle, sets of strange little glasses for the express purpose of serving the aforementioned liqueur, and ice skates. Upmarket resorts also sell ridiculously expensive jewellery and clothes to the sort of rich people who an afford to travel just for the privilege of being able to pay more for something.

Church

Alpine villages all have churches, some of them very old and very beautiful, which make them ideal places to pray for snow. They are normally quite empty, but this season you may have to queue.

Air sports

Parascending is one if the few reliable ways to hurt yourself during the alpine summer, and if the snow doesn't come soon they may have to offer it as a winter option. Basically you walk off the side of a hill with a parachute strapped on to your back and then spend several minutes trying to get back on the ground alive.

Stay in

You're paying for the hotel room or chalet even when you are out on the slopes, so this year could be your chance to hang around and get your money's worth. Read, watch television, make coffee, ask repeated questions about the dry-cleaning service and generally get in the way of people who are trying to clean. If you get really bored you might want to ask them if you can cut the lawn.

Staying home

While you may have already booked your alpine holiday, it is worth pointing out that there are lots of places where you can't ski right here in Britain. There is no reason to travel all the way to France or Switzerland when disappointment, extortionate accommodation and a warm, persistent drizzle await you much closer to home. Fancy not skiing in Wales this year? Or what about Lincolnshire? Have you tried not skiing there?