My Christmas excesses had got the better of me and my cliched 'new year, new me' resolution had been well and truly put off by a severe bout of tonsillitis. So, irritated by the glowing complexions of those around me, I decided what was needed was a spa weekend to reboot my immune system.
The only problem was that a couple of nights' pampering in Britain would be well beyond the scope of my £200 budget, and the healing waters of the grand European spas even more so.
A However, bargain-hunting on the web, I found a grand-sounding establishment called Atlantis offering a full day in its numerous saunas and pools for £15.80, and Thai massage treatments from £16. The enticing 'chocolate sauna' - which involves smearing yourself all over in the stuff - cost just an extra £2.50. True, to take advantage of the knockdown rates I'd have to get myself to Ljubljana (where?), but it sounded promising.
'Why go to Slovenia to sit in a hot room?' asked my friend Rosa, making me think the least pampered girl I know is perhaps not the best person to take with me on a spa weekend away. But, being the least-pampered, she's going to feel the benefits more than anyone else. And besides, she's the only person I know who'll put up with me moaning about my tonsils.
Given that my £200 budget had to include everything, the first thing to get sorted was flights and accommodation. Fortunately, the relatively new airline Wizz Air offers ludicrously cheap flights - of the 1p each way variety - from Luton to Ljubljana. Taxes and charges up the price considerably but, for £45 return, you can't complain.
The Ljubljana tourist board goes out of its way to help visitors to the capital, not least by selling you a 'Ljubljana Card' for a mere £8.45. This will save you money on accommodation, and get you free travel on city buses, free entry to most museums and money off all manner of other things for 72 hours. The tourist board website lists the hotels that offer discounts to cardholders and we found a centrally located one, the City Hotel, for only £60 each for two nights.
Determined not to let my residual tonsillitis spoil the weekend, we headed out on the first morning to mooch around the market. Ljubljana is in a picture postcard setting and the city is small enough to have a welcoming feel. There were many cheap delights on offer, but jars crammed full of syrupy fruits and nuts didn't seem like the best idea given the supposedly healthy theme of the weekend; so I opted for a chat with the charming herb lady, who was more than happy to recommend me something to ease my sore throat.
Near the outdoor market is a huge fish market, by the river. People were queuing for tables at the speciality fish cafe next door so, thinking it must be good, we opted for a light fish lunch. The sardines were a particular highlight and were washed down surprisingly well with a glass of traditional hot wine served with cloves and lemon.
Feeling somewhat more chipper now, we headed off to Water Park Atlantis. From the centre of Ljubljana it takes around 20 minutes by bus or train to get there. If you decide not to invest in the Ljubljana Card, buy your bus tokens from the tourist office, because it works out around half-price. Even better, if you take the train (for 70p!) you get the option to save 25 per cent on your entry to Atlantis. The only problem here is that, with only three return trains a day, you have to plan the time you're going to spend there to the minute. Another way to keep costs down is to take your own towels and robes, to save on rental.
Atlantis is split into three areas: Adventure World, Thermal Temple and Land of Saunas. I'm not entirely sure why it hadn't crossed my mind that, this being Europe, we would have to disrobe before getting in the sauna, but it hadn't. Suffice to say that the first half-hour of our relaxing spa day was spent in blind panic when we realised that there really was no way around the modesty ban and that we absolutely had to get naked if we wanted to spend any time in the Land of Saunas. Hovering around, desperately clutching towels, was just drawing unwanted attention. There was nothing for it: the towels had to go.
Fortunately, the other takers for the chocolate sauna were all women. Sitting in a hot, dark room with naked men is one thing; rubbing melting chocolate over my naked body in front of them would have been quite another. I don't think my newfound liberation would have stretched that far.
Another favourite was the eucalyptus sauna, which will clear you out a treat. As Rosa, who smokes 20 a day, noted: 'I can actually feel my lungs for the first time in five years.'
Time goes quickly at Atlantis, and it was only when we noticed how hungry we were that we realised it was 8pm. So after a quick go on the Black Hole water slide (well you have to don't you?), we got the bus back to sample the delights of local cuisine and a recommended local schnapps. After such a relaxing day, its effects turned out to be so strong that we found ourselves immediately tipsy and were forced to accept that a night out was probably not the best idea.
Fully rested the next day, we spent the last afternoon back in the centre of Ljubljana. On Sunday there is a flea market, where you'll find anything from porcelain tea sets to alarming stuffed animals.
It was an absolutely beautiful day, so we went for a wander up to Ljubljana Castle. Completely missing the entrance to the scenic, not-very-strenuous route up the hill, we started trekking nearly vertically in distinctly unsuitable footwear, but the views over the city were utterly worth the unexpected workout. Entry to the castle is free, but for £2 you can gain access to the 360-degree viewing tower, which is definitely money well spent: on a clear day you can see more than a third of Slovenia.
After a more leisurely stroll back down the hill, we had time to replenish some lost fluids with a glass of fresh orange juice before getting the bus back to the airport. Absolutely exhausted, but in a very satisfying way, I was pleasantly surprised to realise we'd come in well under budget. Which raises the question: why spend £200 for a day spa in London when you can go away for the weekend and get naked instead? Next stop Finland, I think.
The verdict: Pass
Heading to Slovenia made it surprisingly easy, and if we'd scrimped a bit more on food we could have splashed out on some more expensive Thai massages.
Miser's tip
The Ljubljana Card is definitely worth it, and even gives you free bike hire for four hours - great for summer.
Contacts
Ljubljana Tourist Information Centre
Wizz Air: 00 48 2 2351 9499
City Hotel: 00 386 1 234 9130
Water Park Atlantis: 00 386 1 585 2100
