Even before I was a planner, I loved weddings - can I help? Do you mind if I do this? I handle the fiddly things, decorations, transport. I learned the art of compromise - I'm black Caribbean, my husband is white, and I'm used to traditional Caribbean cooking at weddings. I had to step away from that. I told them: the venue is dealing with it and no, Grandma, you cannot bring in your rice and peas.

You have to be honest with clients. They're going to have pictures of themselves in that dress for life. "Not your shape" is a phrase I use a lot.

Pressure brings about unhappiness. The anxiety in weddings is there, rising up, especially when you are willing 200 people to have a fabulous day. There are a lot of potential problems, so I say put all your stress on me, load it on, call me. You'll be admitted to a psych unit if you let it get to you. Anxiety sets off reactions. Women lose weight and have to get their dresses readjusted. Skin conditions flare up.

Happiness is not feeling weak if you express emotion: if you cry, cry. It makes us better people, makes us happier. Weddings show us that. But then, you cannot ruin the beautiful make-up. I'm the one with the compact. Brides can dab, sure, but with mascara you've got to be careful. When the man cries it is endearing - it hints at wonderful emotions. Hopefully there's always going to be a tear. Luckily most outfitters have handkerchiefs to match the cravat. You don't want a horrid white used tissue. That wouldn't make anyone happy.