I'm worried about my son, who is 30. He had a normal, happy childhood in a stable family and remains close to us all. He has a good job, a couple of casual relationships on the go and leads a hectic social life, with many genuine friends. He assures me he doesn't take recreational drugs, even though he has done so in the past, but his social life revolves around drinking, and his diet is not good. He suffers from depression, and recently confided that for about one week in four he harbours suicidal thoughts, but says that he won't do anything about it because of the impact on me. Would seeing a psychiatrist be of benefit? I worry that the mental health service screws people up even more.

The psychiatrist
Dr Paul Walters

Depression affects up to one in 10 people at any given time. Young men in particular can find it difficult to seek appropriate help for depression and may 'self-medicate' with alcohol or drugs. However, the majority of people suffering from depression are treated effectively by their GP, with only a minority being referred to mental health services, so it's important that your son consults his doctor as soon as possible. His GP can discuss the treatments available (ranging from antidepressants to lifestyle changes, such as cutting down on alcohol, exercise and diet, all of which can help mild depression) and recommend a psychiatrist if appropriate. For those with severe depression, talking treatments such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can be an effective approach. It's worth keeping an open mind about mental health treatment - for more information, please visit www.depressionalliance.org

· Dr Paul Walters is a specialist psychiatrist at the Institute of Psychiatry in London

The mother
Joan Yeadell

My son Kieron took his own life just short of his 28th birthday, in May 2003. We were a normal happy family like yours, but while Kieron was very bright he had a problem sharing his emotions. He was hyperactive and disruptive (later diagnosed as ADHD) and found it hard to make friends. To help himself cope, Kieron 'self-medicated' with alcohol and drugs. Perhaps your son's drinking is his way of coping with his feelings. You are fortunate he has confided in you, so don't underestimate what he says. I am one of a team manning a helpline for Sobs (Survivors of Bereavement By Suicide, www.sobs.admin.care4free.net) and from my experience, the signs are there that your son needs help, and quickly. Get him to talk to his GP, find him some local support, strongly encourage him to lead a healthier lifestyle, and most importantly keep the channels of communication open. While he's still talking to you, you have the chance to help him.

· Joan Yeadell is a retired teacher living in Yorkshire

The charity expert
Anny Brackx

Your son has taken a positive step in confiding in you and it is important that he continues to talk about these feelings, whether that be to you, a friend or to a professional. As you suggest, a healthy lifestyle does contribute to better mental health, while some antidepressants have at times been associated with an increase in suicidal thoughts in some people. You could suggest your son keeps a daily diary or blog of his thoughts - this may help him think about how he responds to his emotions. The importance of examining every possible source of support can't be overstated and you need to be able to show your son that suicide is not the only way of resolving his problems. The Samaritans (08457 909 090, www.samaritans.org) offer emergency helplines as well as ongoing support in the form of self-help groups and general advice. There is also a great deal of information on the Mind website: www.mind.org.uk

· Anny Brackx is director of information at the mental health charity Mind

· If you have a health question for our experts, email health@observer.co.uk