I had no frame of reference. My sister gave birth in Montreal, my sister-in-law gave birth in the UK and none of my friends in New York City had babies yet, so I just read books, asked lots of questions and hoped for the best.
Of course I wasn't completely oblivious to the process, but most of the women I talked to opted for the standard American birth: epidural, drugs or caesarean section. It came as a shock to a lot of people that my husband and I wanted a drug-free birth. I figured, since I tend to my everyday health as naturally as possible – meaning I look for alternative methods to dealing with pain, illness, etc – why not have a natural childbirth?
We quickly realised our dependence on our health insurance provider. They determined where we gave birth, who delivered the birth and what speciality appointments were covered and not covered. It was a frustrating process trying to find the right place and person to help us, but eventually we found the right people. After calling every midwife in Manhattan and touring numerous hospitals, we settled on one.
We chose the Birthing Centre at St Luke's Roosevelt Hospital because it was one floor below the traditional Labour and Delivery ward and, well, because it was the only birthing centre left in Manhattan.
It has three rooms with large spa tubs, queen-sized beds, ambient lighting and chintzy floral pattered curtains – a hospital's attempt at creating a "home-like" environment. It felt like the right choice for us.
They asked us to attend a four-hour session in the hospital on the rules of entry, so to speak, as they were different from the traditional ward. A patient had to be five centimetres dilated before entering the Birthing Centre, low-risk and serious about not having any drugs to ease the labour pains. Also, patients needed to be aware that they were discharged only 12 hours after delivery, unlike the traditional ward, which was normally two days. Should labour turn from normal to abnormal the emergency hospital equipment was an elevator ride away.
In the beginning we had a sonogram at every visit. It seemed excessive to some, but I liked seeing the baby wiggle and move about. As my belly swelled, the wait at the doctors office seemed to get shorter and I was generally in and out within half an hour. A typical appointment was: we listened to the baby's heartbeat, my belly was measured, I was weighed, my urine was checked, then I was on my way.
Almost like a little factory, women came and went by the handful, so those appointments never felt special or personable. That was something I struggled with every time. I wanted comfort and soothing, which was sadly met with: "Come on lady, we've got appointments to keep."
When I was 36 weeks pregnant, the doctor sat down with my husband and me and talked us through the birth. What to expect, what things we needed to prepare for and what the hospital's policies were. We gave her our birth plan, which was a document my husband and I created stating how we wanted the birth to go. For example, we wanted a quiet, dimly-lit room, any medical discussions to take place outside of the room, and time alone with the baby right after the birth, to name a few. It was an open dialogue and helped make us all feel more relaxed in knowing what to expect from each other.
Just before my contractions started getting more intense, my acupuncturist came over and treated me at home. He put needles on my neck, shoulder and in my hand to help open my body up to what was happening. This was something our insurance company did not cover and had not covered throughout my entire pregnancy. Once-a-week sessions were costly, but were invaluable to my comfort level throughout my pregnancy and labour. Right after my acupuncturist left, my contractions increased and we left for the hospital.
About 12 hours after my waters broke we were at the hospital. Exercise ball, iPod, drinks, snacks, clothing and pillows in hand we struggled into the elevators and made our way upstairs to the ward. I was seen in Labour and Delivery first, my vitals were taken and I was monitored for two hours before being moved to the Birthing Centre. It was the last room available.
I quickly settled into the tub, my iPod playing Enya on repeat, and my husband and best friend (who was also my "doula" – birthing woman's support) took turns comforting me. I moved from the tub to the exercise ball, where I sat for hours upon end rocking gently back and forth.
Every half an hour the foetal heartbeat was checked and the doctor came in to check how the dilation was progressing, but most of the time we were alone. Just before I began to push, the nurses changed shifts and in walked an Australian nurse with incredible warmth, confidence and compassion. She took charge the moment she walked in, instantly putting me at ease.
At 8:51pm our son entered the world. He was immediately put on my chest and my husband and I watched him take his first breaths. We were able to lay with him like that for a while before he was weighed, measured and his footprints were taken. Fortunately, he never left our room and stayed close to us at all times, which was what we wanted.
From the moment we entered the Birthing Centre I felt taken care of. Our birth plan was respected, my family had a comfortable space to gather and wait while I was in labour and it was a calm environment from beginning to end. That first night, my husband, son and I were able to sleep in the bed as a family. The nurses helped me breastfeed, showed us how to bathe the baby and continued to offer support whenever we needed it. We ended up staying until 5pm the following day, which allowed us more time to acclimatise to being parents.
Giving birth was the single most exhilarating experience of my life. I was so grateful the birth went as we hoped, as it could have gone in a thousand different directions. When it mattered most, I got the support I needed. Our insurance covered the cost of every appointment and 85% of all tests, blood-work, speciality appointments and, most importantly, the birth, as the cost can be as high as $15,000 in New York City. Ours was a lot less than that
