Making a mistake is easy but making a mess of something requires a bit more work. Really messing something up usually takes a huge effort on the back of a poor idea. It's worth remembering that some of the biggest mess-ups occur when you try to correct a small mess-up, for example cosmetic surgery or rail privatisation.

Saying a mess-up is your fault means admitting you made a mistake compounded by your own stupidity. As this requires honesty and courage, most people don't bother. Blaming someone else instead is an easier option or, if there's no one else handy, you can blame your parents or society or the media for messing you up.

If you have enough confidence you can pretend colossal mess-ups are in fact bold new experiments. Many modern works of art fall into this category and most scientific breakthroughs also come when scientists get tired and pour something into the wrong test tube. Those without confidence tend to lie about messing things up, first to themselves, then to others. Then they lie about lying until the oncoming facts become impossible to ignore and a head-on collision with consequences is inevitable.

Everyone makes a mess of something: as babies we make a sticky mess of everything, then, as we grow up, we start to make emotional, social and financial messes which sadly can't be cleaned up with a moist wipe. Relationships are particularly easy to mess up: you can do this by choosing the wrong person, attempting to change that person or remarking on personal irregularities once too often.

On a smaller scale, everyone has an interior disaster area, the result of a dysfunctional relationship with men, women, dogs, authority, electrical appliances, personal hygiene, clothing, credit cards, chocolate, paperwork, school, parents, transport, death, horses or the Inland Revenue.

Messing things up is just a way of learning some of life's big lessons. Sadly, many people think they've messed their entire life up. Never forget that, as long as you're still breathing, the lumpy unpromising mess that is your life can still be resolved into something fine and wonderful, just like custard.