Calmness is a totally unnatural state. In a universe created by a big bang, you wouldn't expect anything to be sitting quietly, and nothing does. When you think you've found something tranquil, it's generally the calm before the storm. On the bright side, when you're in a storm, it's worth remembering that you're in the storm before the calm.

Taking a deep breath is always a good idea when you find yourself in a tight spot, unless that tight spot happens to be underwater. A deep breath also keeps your lungs safely occupied at a time you're likely to say something you'll later regret.

Putting things in perspective always aids calmness. In artistic terms, this means separating out the foreground from the background. In life, too, what's going on in the foreground may loom large for a moment, but actually makes very little difference to the wider background.

Instead of having a panic button, it's much more useful to have a calm button to press when things turn stressful. Reminding yourself that things could be worse helps, too. Unless, of course, things then do get worse. Even then, you can remind yourself that everything eventually passes. This may mean that something even more awful is about to happen, but at least it gets you through the immediate crisis.

Interestingly, the path into meditative calm concentrates on breathing, which is a rhythm. It doesn't ask you to concentrate on something that's dead, such as the opposite wall. That's because rhythms are a lot more calming than silence: they are the reassuring background noise of the engine of the universe ticking over. It's when things get too calm and too quiet that you really need to worry.

Prescription drugs can help people stay calm. Their effect is like the armoured glass in front of bank staff: transactions with the public seem calmer, safer and slightly removed from reality. A more natural recipe for calm is "balm, palm and psalm" - that is, bath, massage and meditation - but that won't help with road rage.

Some people are so unruffled and serene, you get a sneaking suspicion that they don't actually understand anything that's happening around them because, if they did, they'd show more signs of life. Remember, still waters run deep, but no one goes black water rafting.