Some parents-to-be channel their inner Posh Spice or Earth Mother. I have risked becoming a Slummy Mummy. Not wishing to get carried away with this whole baby thing (I figured a one-day-at-a-time strategy would be far easier on the nerves) I have, until now, closed my mind even to offers of gifts and clothing from family and friends. But, with only a month to go, and facing the prospect of staggering home from hospital with my baby in a stolen NHS blanket, I am finally giving in to the retail onslaught. And yes, it hurts.

These days, even conservative estimates put the cost of a first child in their first year at anything up to £3,000. Gone are the days when they slept in drawers trussed up in corrugated terry nappies. But with recession turning stinginess into the new green, it's also important to realise that you won't be psychologically scarring your newborn for life by indulging in a bit of baby-thrift.

For me, the obvious first step was to scribble down the things we actually need. A quick survey of friends and family came up with this starter list - six Babygros, two mittens, six vests, two hats, two cardigans, one coat. Baby blankets, car seat and pushchair, carrycot/ Moses basket, nappies and muslin cloths (babies puke a lot, apparently) and a nanny. Just kidding.

I immediately ruled out making my own baby clothes; with my knitting skills, the poor child would end up dressed like a baby Bjork. Some friends also said a pram wasn't needed, as a newborn is easy to carry round in a sling - but babies are getting heavier, and the medical advice says that they should lie flat for any extended periods. Other friends suggested a cot was pointless until at least six months, especially if you're breast-feeding, as baby inevitably ends up in your bed (with your partner in the spare room or on the sofa). Same with baby monitors: anxious parents admitted they conducted round-the-clock vigils anyway.

From what I can see, the first rule of new parents seems to be that, if you can hold your nerve until the birth, you'll soon find out that you can live without lots of items - so don't even think about getting a baby wipes warmer (yes, they really do make such a device) or a pram rocker. And the key thing is to not let yourself get too stressed or guilt-ridden - it's a baby after all, not a cost centre. With that in mind, here are perhaps the three most effective ways of keeping your baby costs down ...

Recycle those "baby heirlooms"

Now that I've taken my head out of the sand, I've realised what a great resource friends and family are. In fact, I've been offered so much I'm tempted to open a second-hand shop. Babies hardly wear out their clothes and I like this form of recycling; it feels like instant heirlooms rather than hand-me-downs. It's also a sensible idea to draw up a present list - for the first child you're bound to get loads, so you may as well make them useful. Although, as a frivolous gift giver myself, the world's fluffiest teddy bear will be absolutely fine by me ...

Breastfeed your newborn

Aside from all the health benefits, this will pay major financial dividends, too. The cost of even basic formula is around £800 per year, whereas breast milk is free apart from the outlay on nursing bras (around £15 for the no-nonsense "milch cow" designs), breast pads and a pump (around £25). But breastfeeding doesn't work for everyone, and those who find it stressful or painful should seek advice.

Brave an NCT sale

Frankly, in these last stages of pregnancy, I really don't fancy waddling round charity shops and car boot sales when I could be spending quality time preparing for the birth by eating chocolate biscuits on the sofa. Unfortunately, I've also had mixed fortunes on Ebay - I recently found myself bidding on a pram just £10 cheaper than the retail price.

But my one recent visit to a National Childbirth Trust sale, held twice-yearly in my area, was worth the (considerable) effort (nct.org.uk). The advice at my yoga class was to go prepared with a list, lest I ended up with a pair of cute bootees and three darling little cardigans instead of the nappy-changing mat that I actually needed. Old hands also advised beating the crowds by joining the NCT in advance, as then you get in 15 minutes early.

The warning of hordes of pregnant women bump-to-bump jostling at laden stalls was no exaggeration at the Oxford sale I went to - it's worth going with your partner/pal/Russian bodyguard to watch over your stuff. And while most of my fellow bargain hunters were friendly, I have to report that there were one or two unscrupulous mamas with maternal instincts better adapted to snatching fresh kill from marauding lions on the veldt. One couple who had reserved a cot and a baby bouncer were gazumped before making it to the checkout by someone who tore the "sold" stickers off. And several cute Babygros I'd put to one side before paying were also filched.

Luckily, the many helpful NCT volunteers do their best to secure your purchases, and to pass on some general wisdom (such as the fact that volunteers get a chance to buy earliest of all - during the setting up of the sale).

Apparently, these sales can become addictive. Most of the clothes are practically new - many still have the labels on. You can pick up hardly-used Baby Bjorn carriers that retail for £50 for a fiver; Moses baskets for £35; change bags for a tenner. For £16.50, I snapped up 12 bits of clothing and a pram toy, too. And yes, I'm confident my newborn will get great wear out of those cute tartan bootees and that little white cardigan - for a whole afternoon, at least. So what if they weren't on my list ...

So are reusable nappies worth the money and eco-effort?

I grew up with lots of baby brothers and sisters, and one of my abiding hatreds was the ever-present bucket of steeping nappies in the bathroom. So I'm not going to fall for any greenwash - if you are deep green, you probably shouldn't be having a baby at all - but I do feel a bit guilty about all those rotting nappies in landfill sites.

What's more, the "real nappy" route can be a genuine money saver, and experts say you don't have to steep any more as modern washing machines are effective at 60 degrees. Washing reusable nappies at home costs approximately £200-£350, compared to £500 to £800 for disposables until potty training. But it's a lot of hot water, time and effort, and laundry services aren't a budget option, charging from £6-£11 per week (that's nearly £1,500 over 2 ½ years).

Three of my deep-green friends confessed that after trying the nappy services and cloth nappies, they switched to the convenience of disposables, quoting an Environmental Agency Survey that all that washing wasn't any better for the environment. Summaries of the arguments for and against reusable nappies are at familiesonline.co.uk, while the realnappycampaign.com refers you to local collection services and resources.

Other parents I talked to weren't impressed by the absorbency of eco-disposable nappies, particularly as they cost at least two-thirds more than non-eco brands (30p on average, compared to 18p). But they do possess fewer chemicals, and may be kinder to baby's bottom as well as the environment.

For me, eco-friendliness is important, but not all-important. In the case of nappies, price and convenience will (literally) be the bottom-line.