Are you worried about the credit crunch?

I'm delighted about it. I've been getting so bored of people talking about travel and loft extensions and their dreary dreams of buying second homes. Now we can all trim down and get on with the fun things in life, such as kissing each other.

What have you done to ward off its effects?

I've ignored the whole situation and concentrated on working as gleefully as possible. This will make me much happier, more productive and more rich.

What practical, thrifty things do you do in your everyday life?

Every time my kids ask for a drink, I say: "I'll get you a cool refreshing drink of water." This is saving a fortune on juice, which I'm mainly spending on Hoegaarden beer and fine Italian wines.

What's the best money-saving tip you've learned in your life?

Holidays are for people who are too uptight to have fun the rest of the time. You don't need to go to the Maldives to have fun.

What have you bought that turned out to be a waste of money?

I think I spend sensibly, and it's my wife who wastes all the money. She still goes on about the Paul Smith suit I bought, and that two-grand video camera, and the pictures I bought off a painter called Desmond McMahon. I think his work will one day be worth millions. At which point, I will sell the pictures for a vast sum.

Have you ever shopped at Lidl?

I've been occasionally. We also went to Asda a few weeks ago.

· Andrew Clover is an actor, author and Perrier-nominated comedian. His account of parenting his three young daughters, Dad Rules, is out now (Fig Tree, £14.99)