Desmond Tutu was born in South Africa in 1931. He was a teacher before he entered the Anglican ministry; he was ordained in 1960. In the wake of the 1976 Soweto uprising, he was made general secretary of the South African Council of Churches and fought for an end to apartheid. In 1984, he received the Nobel peace prize and in 1985 was elected bishop of Johannesburg. A year later, he became archbishop of Cape Town, and in 1995 was appointed chairman of the truth and reconciliation commission. After his retirement in 1996, Tutu was granted the honorary title of Archbishop Emeritus. He was recently made a sarum canon of Salisbury Cathedral.

When were you happiest?

When our first child, Trevor, was born.

What is your greatest fear?

That we may end up destroying one another and the whole of creation.

What is your earliest memory?

My mother, always there, generous and caring.

Which living person do you most admire, and why?

The Dalai Lama. He is so transparently good, holy and serene, with a joyousness and even schoolboy mischievousness, despite all that has happened to him and his people.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I love to be loved.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

When they sell themselves short.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

When I told the same joke to the same audience at a different venue, but only minutes apart!

What is your most treasured possession?

My pectoral cross and episcopal ring, given me by my wife, Leah.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

A smaller nose might have been nicer.

What is your favourite word?

'Wow!'

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

Flirting.

Who would play you in the film of your life?

Bill Cosby.

What is your most unappealing habit?

Gobbling my food.

What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?

A doctor.

What is the worst thing anyone's said to you?

'Hypocrite.'

When did you last cry, and why?

Today, when I read what our last born, Mpho, wrote about God's love, for a book we are doing together.

How do you relax?

I sleep and listen to Beethoven real loud (not at the same time!).

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Leah.

What does love feel like?

You're on cloud nine, and everything takes on a beautiful tinge.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?

To white South Africans, for having been so strident and even self-righteous fighting against apartheid.

Which living person do you most despise, and why?

I really don't.

What is the worst job you've done?

Being a witness for the prosecution of a friend.

What has been your biggest disappointment?

That white South Africans did not embrace the truth and reconciliation commission enthusiastically.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?

I would try to have found the money to enter medical school.

What is the closest you've come to death?

When we were deliberately given a rented car with a defective front tyre.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

The healing of my prostate cancer.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Being part of the liberation struggle and then sharing in the healing of a wounded, traumatised nation as a wounded healer.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

That people are fundamentally good. Wow!

Tell us a joke

When I died I went to heaven, but St Peter said, 'No, you go to the warmer place.' I repaired to hell and a few weeks later there was frenzied knocking on the pearly gates. St Peter opened and there was old Nick himself, and St Peter asked, 'What are you doing here?' And the devil replied, 'You sent Bishop Tutu down there - he's causing so much trouble, I've come to ask for political asylum.'