Prior to visiting the starving in Ethiopia, when asked if he'd be going

They don't need a half-assed pop star. Can't you see how distasteful that would be? (1985)

Recalling news of Paula Yates's first pregnancy

I told her that I subscribed to the Evelyn Waugh School of Fatherhood - the chap buggers off to Abyssinia and then sends a telegram saying: 'Have you had your child yet and what have you called it?' (1986)

His opening line as a door-to-door spyhole seller

I don't want to worry you, madam, but did you know there's a mad rapist loose in the area? (1969)

On his knighthood and other medals

I love wearing them to Elton John's annual bash because mine are nicer than his. I'm a Chevalier, a knight, a sheikh and a Prince Tuareg in Western Sudan. I look like Idi Amin when I've got them all on (2001)

On Paula Yates

Whole generations of girls took their cue from this great girl (2001)

On Bono

Bono's in love with the world. He wants to embrace it. I want to punch its lights out. We're a psychotic Tweedledum and Tweedledee (2005)

On 'Feed The World' (written on a Casio over breakfast)

It sounds like Z-Cars (1984)

On himself in the seventies

I was Mister Fabulous, you'll remember well (2003)

On himself in the nineties

Music is what I do best, although I may be alone in that belief (1999)

On ageing

I'm fairly lucky in that I've always looked like shite. [But] if you were a pretty-boy pop singer it would wreck you, growing older (2005)

On performing 'I Don't Like Mondays' at Live Aid

The civil war in me stopped for a moment, the part of me saying: 'You're rubbish.' Then it moved on and I haven't been calm again since (2003)

To David Cameron

You haven't played the Albert Hall, unlike me, and I've sold it out, unlike you (2008)

On a Michael Hutchence record played in a shop he was visiting with adopted daughter tiger lily

She said, 'My real dad's a better singer than you, Dad.' I thought: that's what we need in the family, a music critic. Unfortunately, she was right. 'Yes, I know, love, thank you very much' (2001)

· This article was amended on Tuesday July 15 2008. It's Evelyn Waugh, not War. This has been corrected.