How healthy are you?

I'm in rather poor health at the moment. My eyes are bad and I'm in a wheelchair. But thinking about health is boring.

What exercise do you take?

I've never taken exercise. It reminds me too much of school. We used to play cricket at Harrow, and every time the ball would fly over I would move further and further away from it until I eventually got to the long grass, where I could sit and read Ibsen.

How do you relax?

I'll be most relaxed if I'm writing well. If I'm not writing well, I'm in despair.

Is sex important to you?

I'm 85, so it's over for me. I lived through the Sexual Revolution, but it's a mistake to say it happened in the Sixties. When the Second World War ended, Hyde Park was full of people having sex. There were even people selling contraceptives on the grass. People's attitudes didn't change much after that.

Have you ever had therapy?

Years ago my first wife said I should go to a psychiatrist. I went, refused to lie on the couch, and because he looked so bored I invented all sorts of things to keep him interested. I never went back.

How much sleep do you need?

I go to bed at half past 11 and get up about 8 o'clock. If I can't sleep I listen to the World Service and eat sweets.

Are you happy?

I've got lots of happy things. A nice wife, beautiful children, and I live in a house my father built with acres of woodland and fields.

Have you ever spent a night in hospital?

Yes, lots of times. Recently I went in because of an ulcer on my leg and I spent a week in the hospital waiting for the arrival of the machine that could wash it away.

How much do you drink?

I drink brandy and soda, and I don't eat a meal without drinking white wine.

What's your attitude to smoking?

I've smoked all my life, and although I'd given up a bit, I now force myself to smoke because of the ban. I went to a pub recently and found I was the only person left indoors because everyone had gone out to stand in the freezing rain to smoke and catch pneumonia. I love smoky bars, and I think what this government has done is awful.

· The Anti-social Behaviour of Horace Rumpole by John Mortimer is now out in Penguin paperback, £7.99