A row has erupted after the government urged schools to avoid the term "obese" when writing to any parents whose children are found to be overweight. Schools are to weigh every child as they start and finish primary school and inform parents if they are clinically overweight. But they have been told letters should not use the words "fat" or "obese" in case they stigmatise children and discourage parents from tackling the problem.

There are various issues about the sensitivity needed when weighing children at a school. One primary teacher I know was shocked to be asked to weigh his pupils in the classroom. Not a great idea when the overweight face ridicule from their peers - and contrary to guidance that insists on weighing them in privacy.

But when it comes to tackling parents can you be too careful? If there's a problem surely parents need to be told in as clear language as possible.

According to Will Cavendish, a director at the Department of Health, using the right terminology is crucial. He said:

Use of the word obese shuts people down. They associate it with 10-tonne mums and half-tonne kids ... We have not banned it, but we have chosen not to use it.

But Tam Fry, a board member of the National Obesity Forum, dubbed the move "prissy and namby-pamby". He said:

The Americans have gone back to using the term because it's the kind of shock word that makes parents sit up and take notice. It's a nasty word, but by God it should sound alarm bells in parents' minds.

It's a major issue. Figures for 2006-07, published earlier this year, showed 22.9% of children aged four to five in primary school reception classes were overweight or obese. Among those aged 10-11, the proportion rose to 31.6%.

And last year children's charity head Camila Batmanghelidjh called for just the cautious approach which the government is now advocating. She warned labeling children as obese could lead to bullying.

But blogger Rich says the row over terminology really annoyed him. He added:

I believe that parents need to be given the truth, and if shock tactics work with non-smoking campaigns, give it a try for obesity. Informing parents that they'll outlive their kids just because they couldn't/didn't stop them eating poorly might have an effect, amongst other facts.