It's not easy having fun. One minute you're racing your eight-year-old down a snow tube run - I think I was even winning - the next you're face deep in exfoliatingly-hard snow ... and people are looking.
"Want to go again?" grinned Joe, stifling giggles at the melting snow dripping from my ears. I nodded bravely and we trudged (me, gingerly) up the hill again.
When it comes to wearing out children (and their less bouncy parents), Bluestone goes for broke. It opened this summer in 500 acres, much of it within the glorious Pembrokeshire Coast national park, and offers luxury accommodation set around a private "new generation holiday village". The impressive array of facilities includes a sports club, creche, spa and water park, as well as numerous activities including laser clay shooting, bushcraft classes, photography workshops and whale watching. Plus, as my face will verify, over Christmas you can zoom down real snow - albeit in a giant marquee.
Visiting with extended family (my ex-pat sister and brood just-arrived from Aus), our wishlist read like a bratty letter to Santa. We wanted family fun, kids' activities, "grown-up" space, and to see some of Pembrokeshire - as well as time to catch up in comfort as a family.
It was tipping down when we arrived at dusk. In the dim, grey light, Bluestone's newness smacked slightly of a top-end housing estate, albeit one for on-trend lumberjacks, if our Skomer Lodge was anything to go by.
"Wow, I wasn't expecting this," announced my sister. A spacious, double-height sitting room with comfy sofas and huge plasma TV opened on to the best-equipped kitchen/diner I've ever self-catered in. Clean, neutral decor, three swish bedrooms (two en suite), a family wet room, and a galleried chill-out zone with a second plasma screen which Joe and his cousin, Sam, instantly claimed.
We awoke to a pristine winter's day and a flattering backdrop of ancient woodland, rolling fields and the Preseli Hills. It was criminal not to explore these stunning surroundings, but with two kids to please, our first point of call was a given: the Blue Lagoon water park. Bluestone is a car-free zone; you can hire bikes (beware, it's really hilly) or zip around in electric buggies. We tried both, although the latter got more use.
The Blue Lagoon welcomes day visitors at times, but "Bluestoners" get exclusive sessions, and we were virtually alone. "There are more lifeguards than swimmers," observed my husband, who hates queuing, as the boys dragged him off to the wait-free flumes.
Floating along the outdoor lazy river, blue sky overhead, steam billowing, I didn't give a thought to the technology keeping us toasty, but it deserves a mention. Bluestone takes its environmental responsibilities seriously. Natural, sustainable materials, local produce and solar energy are all used where possible. Conservation and horticultural plans - more than 163,000 trees have been planted - will improve wildlife and flora diversity (and, admittedly, Bluestone's overall appearance). The resort has its own wastewater treatment plant and full-time environmental manager committed to further improvements. But its prize jewel is the carbon-neutral, biomass energy centre that uses locally sourced woodchip and energy crops grown by its operators, a local farmers' cooperative, to heat both the sports club and Blue Lagoon. My brother-in-law, an environmental engineer who knows his stuff, was seriously impressed.
That afternoon we drove past Carew Castle, its reflection quivering in an icy millpond, to Stackpole Quay. From the coastal path, the sandstone cliffs looked like gilded millefeuille. Sustained by views alone, we adults could have walked for ever, but jet lag claimed Sam, and we ended up hunting ammonites in Stackpole's tiny harbour, rather than at our intended destination, Barafundle beach.
Kids shattered, we left them with Bluestone babysitter Jamie-Lee and absconded for a "night on the village". Aside from several shops, including a baker's and local store, Bluestone has a pub, wine bar and three restaurants. We'd booked the posh one - Carreg Las - and arrived to find it empty, bar two lovely waiters. Undaunted, we tucked into local lobster, halibut, fig tarte tatin and too much wine for our own good. Prices weren't cheap - around £40 a head minus booze - but we still felt the kitchen's skills warranted more bums on seats. (Though since our visit Bluestone has ditched the fine dining for a less expensive, more inclusive bistro menu.)
After a final morning of family snow and bike action, the lure of the Well Spa proved irresistible. Recharging our batteries in the tranquil saunas, steam rooms and outdoor hydrotherapy pool (while the boys continued to run down theirs with football, snooker, tennis and more in the Junior Rangers' kids' club) was bliss.
As for treatments? My Terrake Magica massage and facial involved hot stones, warm oil and a therapist with healing hands - but that's all I remember. I drifted off after 10 minutes.
Bluestone is not a budget getaway. Accommodation prices are roughly in line with its obvious rival, Center Parcs, and similarly cover only the roof over your head and unlimited use of the water park. Add on some activities, bike hire and a meal or two out, and you're looking at around a grand for a weekend for six. But for a special family occasion with fun on tap - we bumped into several large groups celebrating one thing or another - it could tick most, if not all, of your boxes.
So were our demands met? I'll let the kids judge that.
"You know your story for the paper?" asked Sam, as we chucked the last bag in the boot. "Say this place is five star."
"Six star," argued Joe. It was going to be a long drive home, but spotting Bluestone's twinkling Santa's grotto on the way out, I reasoned that - even though we hadn't had time to visit - he must know that at least one of us had been good this year.
Getting there
• Bluestone, nr Narbeth, Pembrokeshire (01834 862400, bluestonewales.com). A three-night weekend in a Skomer Lodge (sleeps six) from £634, mid-week four-night break from £333, one week from £823. Two-bed Caldey Lodge from £274 weekend, £144 midweek, £355 one week (all prices are low-season). Guests have unlimited access to the Blue Lagoon. Activities, babysitting, spa and cycle hire extra. Day entrance to the Blue Lagoon (bluelagoonwales.com) from £4.95-£8.45.
