When I was 10 I discovered that singing gave me this great feeling - like an out-of-body experience. I quickly discovered that if I held the notes for longer, I'd get more attention, so I started doing that regularly. Seven years later, I was signed to Island Records. I was with them for seven years and I had an amazing time. I would walk around the building and see Bono in the lobby or Courtney Pine on the stairs.

My first breakdown happened when I left Island Records. I couldn't bear the loss when the contract ended. I was then signed to EMI for five years. While I was there, one of the record bosses told me I looked like "two people in one body". (I'd been a size eight and only put on about two stone.) I felt under enormous pressure to be thin, so I began
to make sure that every timeI had a record out, I was skinny.

When I left EMI, I felt like everything had come crashing down. I was nervous about the future and paranoid about my appearance. At 30, I had my second breakdown. I just felt lost. I was raising my daughter, Monet, at the time. I then entered into a terrible relationship, which lasted for seven years. I ended the relationship before having my second child, Russia.

Then, six years ago, my brother Jason was shot dead. His death came as a complete shock. The immediate period after his death was very traumatic. His loss was an indescribable pain and weight. While I'd been immersed in my world of entertainment, I didn't realise what was happening to the people I'd grown up with in south London. When Jason was killed I realised that if this could happen to a postman - a great father - then there was a big problem on the streets.

I began to work with an anti-gun crime operation, Trident, to raise awareness of what is going on in the streets. I met other people affected by gun crime, which helped immensely. We supported each other. You can't recover by yourself.

Over the past three years I've started to leave that painful phase of my life behind. Looking back, I realise that all the bad events in my life have helped me become the person I am today. It was painful at the time - every raw nerve was exposed - but it built my confidence. I think my main coping strategy is to always think about the next thing. I'm looking forward the whole time. I now understand that, if I can hit rock bottom and manage to get myself out, then I must be pretty resilient.

• Mica Paris is touring between April and May. Her new album, Nothing But The Truth, is out at the end of April