It would be hilarious, were it not so deadly serious. Reports of swine flu (SF) started saturating the airwaves and newspapers last week. The guidance to GPs arrived this week. Here are some of the (genuine) questions we've been asked already.
Q Shall I cancel my cruise to Florida?
A Official answer: No need to change travel plans at present. (What I thought: How do I know where the next cases will crop up? I can't guarantee it won't be on your boat.)
Q I'm Jewish and don't eat pork. Will I be OK?
A The virus is a new form of influenza A, which may have stared in pigs but is now spreading from person to person. Only way to prevent catching it is to avoid all contact with people, not pigs.
Q I've just come back from Germany and have a runny nose (worried expression).
A You need to have been in an area known to be affected (though, admittedly, that is changing all the time) and have proper flu-like symptoms. That means fever, cough/runny nose, headache and bad muscle aches. You feel much more ill than with a cold.
Q I was in Mexico 12 days ago. I'm fine but could I still get it?
A No. You get symptoms within a week of being infected.
Q I'm fine but can I have a prescription for Tamiflu – just in case?
A No. Definitely not. It's true that SF is sensitive to the antiviral drug Tamiflu which shortens the course of the disease and so reduces spread. But if we prescribe it for the worried well, there won't be enough if there's an outbreak in the UK. In that case, it will be prescribed for known cases and those most at risk.
Q OK. So you won't prescribe it. I'm not happy about that. Can I buy it privately?
A Can't stop you buying online. (I have a look when he's gone. It seems to be available for Euro 79.95. I'm too busy to work out what I feel about this morally.)
Q I had a flu jab this year. Am I covered?
A Possibly. They don't know yet and are doing experiments to find out. A specific vaccine is being developed and may be available next month.
Q I saw the pictures from Mexico on TV and I'm terrified. Will I get it?
A It is sad and true that around 150 people in Mexico appear to have died from flu, although many of these cases are unconfirmed. But every year, people get flu and some who are particularly vulnerable (such as those with suppressed immune systems) die from it. In a typical year, 36,000 people die in the US from flu-related complications. The vast majority of the reported cases of SF have made a quick and full recovery after a mild and short illness.
And after the patients, the other doctors, nurses and receptionists in the practice had their own questions.
Q (From our nurse) The Health Protection Agency advice (pdf) says we should see possible cases in their own home and wear mask, protective apron and gloves and give the patient a mask too. Have we got any?
A Well, we've got gloves. I guess we could get hold of aprons. But masks should be properly fitted and specialised in order to do anything, and I have no idea how we're supposed to get fitted for those – and get them for potential patients, too!
Q (From another doctor) How will we manage to fit in all potential home visits and do our normal work, too?
A Absolutely no idea.
Q (From same doctor) And how will we make sure we don't get it?
A No guidance yet!
Q (From me to myself) We're being told to take two nasal swabs and two throat swabs to confirm diagnosis. We presumably need special viral swabs. How do we get them?
A One local hospital might be able to get us some swabs by this Friday; the other won't manage it in the forseeable future and suggests using the less accurate method of bacterial swabs to make do.
My God. What a day!
Cif Editor's note: Dr Ann Robinson will be 'live online' in the thread below and responding to users' comments and questions about swine flu and flu symptoms at 4-5pm (BST) on Thursday 30 April.
