When I was about seven or eight I had depression a lot and my mum thought I was a bit strange because all the other kids were very happy at school and I was down all the time. We went to the doctor and we went to the hospital. I felt really unhappy and I didn't understand why. I thought I was different from everybody else. It wasn't very nice. They thought I had seasonal affective disorder for a while because I would get a lot worse in the winter. I wasn't actually diagnosed until I was 23.
When I was eight I was put on a drug called amitriptyline, an anti-depressant. For about a year I was fine, so they took me off it. Then in my teens I went downhill again, slowly from the age of ten. Teens are a hard time for anybody, but I was really depressed – I started drinking and, in my later teens, began experimenting with drug. Ketamine, ecstasy, speed. It was a phase and I now know that it doesn't do me any good.
The drugs were at a peak when I was 19 or 20 but I stopped taking them for two and a half years because I started getting psychosis – hearing voices, hallucinating, reading hidden messages in newspapers, magazines and on the radio and television. People were talking to me.
I was working, training to be a hairdresser, and my work was suffering. My mum noticed I was sweating a lot. I lost a lot of weight and my hair began to fall out in patches. I wasn't eating. Eventually, after about six months, I admitted to my mum that I was hearing these voices and getting messages and I was quite scared of it.
I don't remember specific messages, but I was very paranoid. Everything was out to get me. Everyone on the telly was out to get me. When I read something, it was a hidden message about me – and it wasn't nice. It was putting me down. I remember I was in a hospital room with my mum and a doctor at one point and I could hear booing and hissing behind me, and there was no-one else in the room. It was very nasty.
My natural mother (I was adopted) died when she was 23 and she had severe mental health problems. It's hereditary, so I think there is a link between me and my natural mum having mental health problems. When I was 23, I was diagnosed with schizo-affected disorder. But I was put on the wrong medication. It was the right drug to treat my condition but it wasn't the right drug for me. People get different effects from different medication. I was still unhappy and I thought: "There's no way out of this, I'm just gonna be a no-hoper for the rest of my life." At that point I hadn't worked for several years, my hair had fallen out, and I had put on a lot of weight due to the medication.
So at 24 I took an overdose of anti-depressants and I was in hospital unconscious for three days and nearly died. I remember my mum, dad, aunty, uncle and sister were all sat next to me when I woke up which, looking back, was really nice because I'd put them through hell.
The docstor and nursing staff were very busy and have a lot on, but they did their best to treat me. I think the mental health side of the NHS is lacking a bit in some things. There are too many caseloads, too many people are ill and it's difficult for them. I've had good experiences with doctors and I've had really bad experiences as well. A couple of times my mum wrote a letter of complaint, very strong ones, and after that we got really good help. But it took those letters to push them. Once you get a doctor they are good, but getting access to that help is the difficult part.
Schizo-affected disorder is not schizophrenia. It's schizophrenic tendencies with depression. But I don't like to sit and read up about it in detail, I just want to get on with my life.
When I had depression I was counselled a lot, but after that and when I was on my anti-psychotics, I didn't want counselling. I chose not to have it. I've just got better with the medication I'm now on, which I was put on at 25. I'm 28 now and the past three years have been a very steep learning curve for me, but they have been very positive too and I am getting more out of life now that I ever thought I would.
People think that being diagnosed with a mental illness means your life is over. But I'm working on my dreams and ambitions. I've written a book called Soi, which is based on my life story. It's a book for children and adults, which I have also illustrated, which is coming out around Christmas this year. I've written three, but that's the one I'm having published to start with. It's about a boy who goes on a journey, looking to find himself really, and it has a happy ending.
There is definitely still a stigma about mental health issues. Worse though, is when people pity me, I don't need that. Or they can't handle it at all and run a mile. I've had people literally walk away from me or friends distance themselves. Finding a relationship is particularly hard. I'm a very open person and I'm not at all ashamed of my mental health, but a couple of times I've told someone I'm getting close to that I have schizo-affected disorder and it's been a complete disaster. I've had to learn to be more guarded – but it shouldn't have to be that way. I'm hoping to help address those by talking about my experiences.
If anyone recognises something in what I've said, go to your doctor. If you haven't got family or friends you can go to, go to your doctor. Tell them everything, just be really truthful. Beg for help if you have to, because if something is not right, if you've got something in your head that shouldn't be there....I didn't tell anybody for six months. I sweated and I cried and I was scared and it just got worse and worse. If you have a history of depression also, it's likely that it could turn into something else.
It's nice to be able to tell my story on World Mental Health Day, so other people can see that things can change for you and you just have to stick with it and you just need to have some faith and hope in yourself and in others because a lot of people out there are going to be very ill at the moment and I really have sympathy for them.
• Andrew is helping to promote awareness of mental health issues for Rethink – the leading national membership mental health charity that works to help people affected by severe mental illness to recover a better quality of life
