Californian physician Dr Lee Berk has proved that laughter can have similar effects on the body to a gym workout. So why not copy Tim Dowling and his laughtercise routine.

7.00am Rise, turn on Today programme, warm up by snorting derisively as politicians refuse to answer simple questions.

7.30–8.00 Find YouTube clip of someone hurting themselves. Post link on Twitter, appending the comment: "ROTFLMAO." Dutifully spend the remaining minutes ROTFLYAO.

8.30 Light breakfast. Chuckle while recalling the misfortunes of acquaintances. Be careful not to choke: you don't want your misfortune to become a source of amusement for someone else.

9.00-10.00 Spend an hour at the window using your key fob to set off your car alarm every time someone walks by.

10.00-11.30 Watch favourite standup routine, Marx Brothers classic, teen gross-out comedy or TV out-takes compilation. Guffaw heartily, even if you have to force it a little.

11.30-12.30pm Dress up pets.

12.30-2.00 Take long lunch at cafe with good view of section of broken pavement. Be patient.

2.00-3.00 Massage aching sides while contemplating something serious.

3.00-6.00 A well-earned break.

6.00-6.30 Simpsons.

6.30-12.00 midnight An evening with friends getting drunk and remembering funny times when you were also drunk. Remember, it's funnier if you forget to eat.