The rules of bridge state that you are not allowed to write anything down. Even a sidelong glance at the scorecard to remind yourself of the opening hand would be cheating. Instead, remembering what has happened is one of the skills of the game.

At the beginning of each hand, the four players, who are paired into two teams, have 13 cards each. As the cards are played, it is vital that you keep track of how many in each suit have gone. If you've got the jack in your hand, for instance, you need to know whether the ace, king and queen, which would beat it, are out of the way yet.

Students do struggle at first. It is like when you learn to drive; much of the work happens during training. A common mistake is to try to remember every card that is played. As you learn, you become adept at thinking in terms of shapes and patterns.

From the clues you pick up at the beginning of each round, you quickly establish what distribution of suits your left-hand opponent has. Perhaps you think they have five cards of one suit, three of two others, and two of the fourth, which would be a 5-3-3-2 pattern. Soon all the other regular 13-card layouts, such as 6-3-3-1, 5-4‑2-2 and so on, roll off everyone's tongues. This means you just need to remember the high cards and the patterns – although you need to be flexible enough to change your thinking if necessary.

Another technique I use is to say the sequence in my head when each player puts down their first card. I don't find myself forgetting very often but when it happens, I put my cards on the table and decide I'm not going to be hurried. I reconstruct everything I can, right back to the beginning, to see if I can make sense of it. That usually works, although sometimes I may test the patience of my opponents. There may be some wry smiles, but they've all been there themselves.

• Heather Dhondy, professional bridge player (England international) and teacher