I went into the garden and let out a scream of feral agony. I was 42 years old and a single mother with a string of failed relationships behind me. True Love had eluded me.

I was sitting in my yurt taking my Grade Four in Oneness from the University of Gestalt, when I was asked to talk to a Daily Mail journalist who had long ago written an important book about Princess Diana's affair with James Hewitt and could benefit from my kundalini.

When other people had told me my problem was that I was an insecure, spoilt Russian bitch, I had reacted angrily. But hearing this from Andrew, while looking into his intense blue eyes, was profoundly spiritual. For two hours, I retched and sobbed uncontrollably on the floor of his yurt, but by the end I was overcome by a desire to sign up for his Masculine and Feminine course.

I wrote a poem especially for Anna. If you're feeling down in the dumps/ Come and sit on my love pump. She gasped with pleasure when I read it to her, and at that point I had the sudden realisation that I had been locked into a loveless marriage for 20 years. I quickly texted my wife to inform her she was now single, as Anna and I were destined to be Together For Ever and Ever.

It was initially difficult for me to accept Andrew was my One True Love as I was such a badly damaged person emotionally that I didn't believe I was worthy of love. But Andrew took me to the bottom of the well and then back up again. "You are the Modern Day Wizard," I cried out loud.

Hearing Anna call me her Modern Day Wizard completed me in a way I had never been completed before. After several days of meditation, I took her by the hand and told her we would be each other's rock for eternity, but that we would have to take the road less travelled, of spiritual awakening, to achieve True True Love.

Andrew was away in India running a three-month course for Sting and Bono on The Self-Effacement of Self-Importance and I was feeling desperately lonely. Why was I not as famous as I deserved to be? At my lowest point I got a text from Andrew. "Don't give in to your Core Wounding," it said. "The only reason you are not more famous is that your parents didn't love you enough."

Helping Anna heal her Core Wounding made me realise I had yet to deal with my own Core Wounding. All my life I had been led to believe I was a bit wet. Something had to change. Next time Anna got angry, I stamped my foot a bit. "Congratulations, grasshopper," said Guru Oprah. "You are now at Grade Five of Oneness."

Even though I really wanted to make myself totally emotionally available to Andrew, there were many times I found myself pushing him away. Thanks to Andrew, I was able to confront my issues around loss and hurt, rather than just blame him for being a bit of a tosser.

We have all had Big Heartbreak in our lives. I shared mine at a three-day workshop I was running for Men Who Love Too Much. When I was seven, Snowy, my racing pigeon, never returned home. I have never really recovered from that loss and it has informed all my relationships since.

Dear Andrew, I am sorry my not coming back affected you so badly. The thing is, you were so annoying I couldn't bear to stay a moment longer. Yours, Snowy.

After getting married in a quiet ceremony at St Peter's Basilica in Rome, I was filled with dread that I hadn't managed to sell my house, as three prospective buyers dropped out on the same day. Andrew helped me to see that my intimacy issues were subconsciously blocking the sale. The next day, I sold my house for double the asking price.

Call off the Search for the Beloved. To Reclaim the Truth of Our Essence we must accept Ourselves as Who We Are. Only then can our Soul evolve to True Love. I leave you with a final poem. When you're down on your luck/ And in need of a fuck/ I will be your One Rock/ If you play with my Cock.

Digested read, digested: A marriage made in therapy.