Louise, my six year old, asked me: "What was it like when you were a child, Daddy, in the olden days?" I told her that my childhood was rubbish and that she didn't know she was born. She picked languidly at her imported American Froot Loops complaining mildly that the milk was too cold.

Then she said: "But, Daddy, last year the Guardian ran a story claiming British children were "the most miserable in the industrialised world".

"Really?" I said, nonplussed.

"Yes," she said. "And the Daily Mail agrees. They ran a story that said: "Children of Broken Britain among least happy in Europe."

"Oh," I said, "I always thought you had it pretty good."

"Apparently not," she responded. "It seems things were much better in the 1950s and 1960s when you were growing up. It's one of the few things the liberal press and the rightwing Tory-leaning newspapers agree on."

I thought I might point out a few differences between my childhood and hers. But she turned away, abandoning her unsatisfactory cereal, and started playing with her Nintendogs console. So I thought I would complete the discussion here.

My childhood compared with my children's:

1. Holidays. They were crap. Cold and wet. In England, in bed and breakfasts that kicked you out after breakfast. My children have so far been to more exotic locations than David Attenborough. Yes, they're middle class. But you can get a package holiday abroad now for the price of a pint and a packet of pork scratchings.

2. Boredom. My children are never bored. They have iPods, mobile phones, PCs, games consoles, TV on demand, child-friendly, free museums and exhibitions. Yes, they're middle class. But even those on very modest incomes can afford basic versions of most modern technology.

3. Sleepovers. When did they happen? I never once had a sleepover as a kid.

4. Getting hit. Like most kids, I would have to take a slap now and then. My children don't get hit. It's relatively rare nowadays. Yes, my children are middle class. You think it's only middle-class parents who don't hit their kids?

5. I was always peripheral to my parents' universe. I had to fit in with what they did. Sitting in the pub car park with a packet of crisps was as good as it got. My children are at the centre of family life. Yes, they're middle class. But I think it would be patronising to suggest that it's different for the working class. And there have always been a minority of dysfunctional families.

6. Happiness. A Children's Society report cited in the Guardian claimed that one in 11 youngsters aged between eight and 15 have a "low sense of wellbeing" at any given time. That means 10 out of 11 don't have a low sense of wellbeing.

7. Children in Britain report higher levels of satisfaction with school than almost any other European country.

8. Football. When I went to a football match I had to listen to racist abuse and unbelievably foul language roared by frightening men. And that was just the footballers. Also the football itself was of an unbelievably low standard. Or maybe that was just QPR.

9. Food was terrible. Boiled – all of it. What I would have given for some good junk food – a McDonald's or a KFC. But that was "eating out". We never ate out. I went to my first restaurant on my 18th birthday.

10. TV. It was crap. Now it's good.

I could go on. Yes, many childhoods are blighted by poverty, family breakup, and alcoholism but that was true 40 years ago, too (people got divorced less, but I'm not sure that helped anyone).

So that's what life was like in the "old days", Louise. It sucked.

Now, can I fetch you some more cereal? And this time I'll heat the milk properly. Sorry.

• Follow Tim on Twitter @timlottwriter