Name: Super banana.

Age: Very new.

Appearance: Coming soon.

A super banana? D'you mean that, unwilling to rest on its laurels as already the world's most amusing fruit, the banana has joined the list of superfoods, alongside garlic, goji berries, blueberries, broccoli and the like? No.

Are we talking about just one banana? That has served the banana community selflessly for years and upon whom there has been conferred some kind of banana honour? No.

So all that's left is – banana superhero! Wow! Like Bananaman but an actual banana! That I should have lived to see such times! Incredible! No, this is a genetically modified banana with the potential to improve the lives of millions, if the current human trials, which have just begun, go well.

But that's even more super! How is it going to do this? The super banana is enriched with alpha and beta-carotene (making it orange rather than cream-coloured), which the body converts to Vitamin A.

Are people in Africa short of Vitamin A? They are indeed. About a million children a year die or go blind because of it. This modified form of the Highland or East African cooking banana, one of the staple foods in the region, should go a long way towards rectifying this.

This is not a super banana. This is an excellent banana. A splendid banana. Top banana?

How did I not get there? I don't know. I thought of it minutes ago. Just been waiting for the right time.

Well, kudos. But tell me more. Who's behind this potentially life-saving plantain? Professor James Dale is the head of the nine-year project, funded by nearly £6m from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, at the Queensland University of Technology in Brisbane, Australia.

He must be pleased. But I've been around too long not to ask – are there any downsides? The usual questions about the unknown possible consequences of genetic engineering. Dr Helen Wallace of GeneWatch points out that there is evidence that too much beta carotene can be carcinogenic – what if people without the vitamin deficiency eat the fruit?

Couldn't they just stay away from the orange ones? If they know their current vitamin levels, sure.

Ah. Anyway, hopefully everything will turn out at least super-ish in the end.

Do say: "What an amazing capacity for good science and humanity possess!"

Don't say: "This one looks like a willy! Call That's Life!"