Despite the myth that our sex lives end at first sight of a grey hair, many over 60s are still enjoying a healthy libido. Trouble is, few are willing to admit it. But with sexually transmitted infections (STIs) on the rise among the older generation and an ageing population, how much longer can we afford to stay silent about their sexual health?

“There is an embarrassment about it all. It’s a taboo which has carried on for generations,” says 67-year-old Roy from London. “If you talk about sex, then you are labelled as a dirty old man or a pervert. It’s a kind of prejudice.”

The retired public servant admits while his sexual appetite has waned over the years, he still enjoys the intimacy which sex provides in a relationship. You can have a good sexual relationship at any age, he insists.

“The familiarity of sex has gone now. You don’t do it as often, but you don’t stop it altogether,” Roy explains. “When you are young you do it every day, but when you get older you do it in little bursts. There are more important things to worry about and new priorities, it’s no longer just about sex.”

Despite the reality of a sexually active older population, however, there continues to be little attention paid to many of their related health needs. Awareness campaigns on the dangers of unprotected sex largely target the young, while the media continues to perpetuate the stereotype of older people as impotent and chaste or perverted and figures of ridicule.

This neglect by society and health services means sexually transmitted infections continue to rise in older people. Figures published by Public Health England for 2013 reveal diagnoses of chlamydia, gonorrhoea, herpes and genital warts, in those aged over 65, increased 8.2% on the previous year – a total of 1,125 cases. The number of older people with HIV in the UK is also growing.

This generation of ‘baby boomers’ became sexually active at a time when the pill was only just making waves. Couples were thinking about preventing pregnancy, not STIs. That mindset has stayed with them. Natika H Halil, director of health and wellbeing at sexual health charity FPA, explains higher divorce rates and the emergence of internet dating has meant more older people are embarking on new relationships, and sexual health messaging for this age group has struggled to keep up.

Something has gone wrong with how we communicate to older people about STIs, Halil says, but at the same time there is a belief that when you are older you should be wiser.

She adds: “You might be embarrassed about how you use a condom, but who are you going to ask about it when you haven’t used one for 30 years?”

“We somehow need to communicate that it’s ok to ask these questions. It’s ok not to know how to use protection, it’s ok to want to be educated and want to keep yourself healthy, in the same way that we do with diabetes or stroke or other things. It is a normal part of everybody’s lives.”

Roy says he would welcome more targeted advice for older people and believes it should be more available at GP surgeries. In much the same way the NHS calls older people in for routine examinations to check for cancer, he suggests there should be similar sexual health check-ups made available locally.

“Just like how younger people are targeted by sex clinics and given condoms, similar clinics should open for mature people as well,” he says. “It can be embarrassing for many older people to go out and buy viagra, for example. If a young person goes and buys a pack of condoms, nobody would blink. If I do, everyone will immediately think I am a dirty old man.”

Education remains the key to success, agrees psychosexual therapist Stefan Walters. Community centres and care homes are the ideal place to start having those conversations, he says. Even distributing condoms and explaining how viagra works.

The biggest obstacle for sexual health advice reaching an older population, however, remains our continued embarrassment about the subject. Social norms are changing though, albeit very slowly.

Walters points to the popularity of films such as The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and action blockbuster Red or The Expendables as evidence in the shift towards a more grey friendly society.

Perhaps a change in attitude is inevitable, however. Faced with the reality of a population living longer, we are being forced to rethink the very idea of what constitutes old age. After all, Walters suggests, 60 may soon be the new middle-age.

Attitudes towards sex will take time to change. The London-based therapist insists it is difficult for any age to talk about it. But unless we break our silence on the seemingly secret sex lives of the over 60s, there is a danger this age group will continue not taking the necessary precautions and think that STIs are something that can’t happen to them.