I was aged about six and still wore pigtails when I looked over my shoulder and realised my dad wasn’t holding on to the back of my bike and I was riding without stabilisers for the first time. I was elated – just like my big sister I could ride a bike all by myself!

So, for all the joy of that moment, it might seem strange that I have chosen for my son not to experience the happiness and freedom that comes from unshackling the stabilisers and going it alone. Why? Because he will never ride a bike with training wheels.

Although I realise that he might look quite impressive in the park pedalling and steering a bike with stabilisers – and I could have a proud mummy moment with a cute boasting photo on Facebook – I am learning, as in all aspects of parenting, it is not about me and it is not about the here and now: it’s about making good choices for the future.

So, for now, my son just rides a balance bike, which has no pedals, rather fat pneumatic tyres and only one brake. Now, before you think this is some new-fangled design created in the last decade to persuade pushy parents to part with more cash, you might want to take a look at the ‘running machine’ Baron Karl von Drais invented in 1817. The forerunner of the modern bicycle, it was essentially a balance bike for grown-ups.

It seems to other parents that I am holding my son back, many of them asking when he will get a bike with pedals. As someone who works in the world of cycling, of course I want him to be able to ride a bike and love cycling as much as I do, but I don’t want to be a pushy parent who forces him into it. He sees mummy and daddy cycling, and has travelled on the back of my bike in a seat since he was small, so understandably now he wants a bike of his own.

The reasons why I don’t just ‘get a cheap bike with stabilisers’ are quite straightforward: I do not want my son to learn bad cycling habits at this young age. Stabilisers, in my opinion – and most cycle instructors agree – can give a false sense of security and encourage the over-leaning that leads to the belief that the child can cycle as fast they want, turn the handlebars sharply and stay upright – but if the ground is even slightly bumpy, they won’t. Also, I know that if he learns to ride with stabilisers, I will just have to teach him to balance later on – and I’d rather he learnt that bit now.

Using a balance bike teaches a child that it is leaning and body positioning that steer a bike, and that the handlebars are just there to help the process. It encourages a child to think a bit more about cycling and how their movement and weight affect the bike. Eventually, this will become instinctive for my son: I know only too well from mountain biking I often struggle to remember to lean the right way.

A balance bike is not superfast but it is fun, and uses some of the same principles as a child’s scooter. In just a few trips to the park, my son progressed from walking with the bike, just annoyingly ringing the bell, to letting the saddle take his weight so he could push off and coast along. As his confidence increased, so did his tendency to lift both feet in the air down slight slopes. Now he likes to go as fast as he can – without falling off, and we are working on looking ahead and braking.

Once he has had lots of practice at braking and stopping, it will be time to teach him to ride a bike with pedals, and therefore we can skip the whole stabilisers on/off stage.

I know it can be quite frustrating trying to work out how to teach your child to ride a bike, but breaking it down into different elements means progress at the child’s pace, only practising one thing at a time. The aim should not be to just get them on a bike and cycling independently as soon as possible – it should be about having fun and learning to ride a bike well.

If you are thinking about buying a toddler a balance bike, try and get a light one, as you will probably end up carrying it back home at some point after a toddler tantrum meltdown. Also make sure your child can actually pull the brake lever, as a many aren’t designed for tiny toddler hands – so are effectively useless.

If the child is confident walking and running, then from the age of about two they can start playing with a balance bike. As with buying any bike, get one that is the right size and built well – a good quality balance bike can be passed on to a younger sibling or sold second hand for about 60% of the original price. A cheap one that has foam-filled tyres will pretty quickly end up at the dump.

For the sake of children’s health, the planet and our congested roads, one thing is certain: in the UK we need to get all our children in the habit of cycling, and the younger they learn, the more confident and safer they will be.

Victoria Hazael has two children and works for CTC, the national cycling charity