I’m a bit of a sucker for the new year thing. I realise that in one sense it’s completely artificial, that the first of January was just another day, no different from 10 June, no more a turning point than 3 March. But we have a very human need to mark the passing of time, be it personally with birthdays and anniversaries, like Robinson Crusoe notching his stick, or in a wider social and cultural context, 10 years since the Indian Ocean Tsunami, 100 since the start of the first world war, 2015 (ish) since the birth of Christ.

And notching also provides an opportunity for individual and collective reflection. Personally, I’m pretty glad to see the back of 2014. I was extremely depressed for much of it and felt isolated and let down, so looking ahead the obvious question is, will the coming year be any different, or can I expect another dose of the same?

And the question of expectations is a pertinent one, I think. So much of the way we experience life depends on how it compares with our expectations. Take my dogs, for example, a hugely important and enriching presence in my life.

But imagine if I shared my home with a human who acts as they do, who creates 95% of the mess but never clears up ever, who expects me to pay for everything, to keep them fed and warm, well-groomed and healthy, as they lounge about, snoring while I’m trying to work, and demanding twice a day that I drop what I am doing and take them somewhere lovely for a walk.

In an adult human such behaviour would be intolerable but in two rather pampered middle-aged dogs it is not only perfectly tolerable but an integral part of their appeal.

It’s all a question of expectation. Of course we don’t expect a dog to behave like a person; that would be absurd. But what about our other expectations? What are they and how do they impact on our actual experience? What do we expect of a friend? Of a partner, a parent, a sibling, a child? Of our neighbours? Our colleagues? The man in the corner shop? It’s very rare, it seems to me, that we articulate our expectations, even to ourselves, and yet they have the greatest possible impact on how we feel about our relationships. On whether we feel let down, for example, or satisfied or pleasantly surprised. And it goes beyond subjective feelings; we may unconsciously try to mould our relationships to match our expectations, even when those expectations are negative, even when we expect to feel let down.

Of course it’s hard to question what you can’t articulate. But it’s surely important to think about where our expectations come from and how appropriate they continue to be. Childhood sets up expectations as does later life experience, the media or simply looking around and comparing ourselves with others. But just because we expect something doesn’t mean we are right to expect it; it doesn’t make our expectation valid.

As a society we have expectations too. And with a general election coming up, they are likely to be much on the agenda. But just as in our personal lives, as a society we must be prepared to examine our expectations and whether they continue to be valid.

Is it reasonable to expect an austerity agenda to deliver a fairer society? Can we expect to pay less tax and receive decent public services? If not, then we have a choice. We can either change our policies or change our expectations.