During the sixth week of my second pregnancy, I was hit by an extreme form of morning sickness called hyperemesis gravidarum. I was unable to drink anything and have never felt so dehydrated, dizzy and desperate for water. But if I drank, I was immediately sick, then felt much worse. By the tenth week, I had lost nearly two stone, was vomiting up to 30 times a day and was feeling desperate. So much so that, like 1,000 other women each year, I decided the sickness had become unbearable and I had no choice but to terminate my pregnancy. At 10 weeks, I arranged to have a termination in the form of a pill. A few hours after I had taken it, I began to feel normal again. I have never felt such intense relief, at the same time as feeling extremely sad for the child I had aborted.

I had experienced hyperemesis gravidarum during my first pregnancy, but was able to cope with it then – I think mainly because I didn’t know the suffering that lay ahead. My GP at the time was attentive and visited me at home to monitor my urine, while nurses came to take blood. I tried taking the anti-sickness drug cyclizine, but it didn’t seem to do anything, so I stopped.

It wasn’t until the 22nd week of that pregnancy that the sickness began to wane, and thankfully it did diminish significantly. During the early months of the pregnancy, I lost three stone in weight and my job – or rather, I felt that I couldn’t return. My boss was not sympathetic to the extreme sickness I was experiencing and was overheard saying that I had “planned it all” with regard to the sick leave I had to take.

When I became pregnant again, I had moved house and started going to a new GP surgery. I was so sick I found it difficult to get to appointments there and they wouldn’t offer a home visit. When I finally managed to see someone, I begged for zofran, a strong anti-sickness drug or steroids but the GP advised that these medications were expensive and they would not be prepared to prescribe anything other than cyclizine.

At the time, my mother was caring for my six-month-old and my husband was at work. I could not get out of bed or even smell food without being violently sick, so I had to rely on other people to care for my baby. But my time was running out, which added to the stress of the situation: my mother had to return to work and my husband could not afford to be off work again, given that he had only recently taken paternity leave. There was no way I’d be able to look after a baby while experiencing such severe sickness and dehydration, and this greatly added to my anxiety.

I had not had any support from the GP, I was too weak to argue with them and unable to make rational decisions when I did manage to speak to them. I had tried taking cyclizine, which again didn’t have any affect, and was left trying sea bands and old wives’ tales.

We need to take hyperemesis gravidarum seriously. When you tell people about it they make it clear they think you are just being overdramatic. GPs need to stop making comments like “it will pass” or, even worse, “it’s the sign of a healthy pregnancy”. It shouldn’t be a lottery whether your doctor’s surgery empathises or not; there should be universal procedures for the condition.

Why is it OK for women to be pushed into carrying on regardless just because they are pregnant? Would GPs be so relaxed about pre-eclampsia or gestational diabetes? No.

I know now that I can never be pregnant again. I have made peace with the fact that I won’t have a big family as I had wanted. If I had been supported more by my GP, or had access to better medication, I probably would not have made the choice I did. But I was desperate and my judgment was clouded by the dehydration. While I do regret the decision to have an abortion, it felt like there was no other choice for me.