I work in food so I’m used to friends and colleagues raving about everything from kale drinks to spiralised veg. But when my dad and brother – both in the construction industry – start pontificating about their “personal blenders”, I am taken aback – they’re all swapping juice recipes on site! So is there anyone who isn’t worshipping at the altar of the Nutribullet? John Lewis is selling one every four minutes, starting at around £80 a go – a lot of money for breakfast drinks. What’s going on? Do I need one? And why?

“It’s no longer OK,” point out the evangelist males in my family, “to juice the tasty stuff out of an apple and bin the mush left behind – that’s where the filling, fibrous goodness is.” We need to crack through stems! Shred tough skins! Burst open seeds! And blenders have risen to the challenge. Today’s nutrition-extracting terminators march into your life and order you about; they turn owners into disciples.

The Nutribullet is loved for its neatness and convenient detachable drinking beaker (less washing-up). Can its wizardry be achieved by cheaper blenders? Or am I finished if I don’t have a patented blade?

The “Nutriblast” (Nutri-speak for the resulting beverage) is the reason for its cult following, so I’m testing seven machines with the same green juice (challenging fibrous ingredients – the stalkiest of kale, the stringiest of celery and a big lump of ginger) and a protein shake (hard almonds, hemp seeds, fruit and oats). And ice. Oh yes.

1 Russell Hobbs Mix & Go £29.99, uk.russell-hobbs.com

First impressions: All these juicers look a bit like lava lamps, but none more so than this: a plain white base of unobtrusive design topped by a simple sports bottle. I like this entry-level personal blender immediately. It’s discreet, neat and button-free, relying on push-and-twist technology, just like the Nutribullet. It comes with a spare 600ml sturdy plastic bottle and cap.

Green juice: Grass cuttings. This would need sieving to be palatable, as it is made up of tiny bits of celery and apple skin and stalk.

Protein shake: Pretty smooth. I can see a few telltale dots of blueberry and grape skin but you don’t notice them on the palate. Hemp seeds have been crushed quite fine, but there is a trace of nutty texture.

Who is this for? People who are happy making retro smoothies with berries and bananas. Ice is easily blitzed too. But sadly, no good to the Nutri-generation.

2/5

2 Breville Blend-Active £35, ao.com

First impressions: Looks a bit like something Sporty Spice might have waved around on stage. It’s all stripes and glow-stick green. One big button reads BLEND, like an order. It comes with a spare 600ml bottle and two 300mls with “Blend-Active” up the side – fine for the gym, but not in a meeting. The recipe leaflet focuses on protein shakes – no surprise there.

Green juice: Slurry-like, with disturbing inch-long threads of celery string.

Protein shake: Visibly less smooth than the previous model. I find myself chewing; it’s slightly too grainy to drink.

Who is this for? Gym buffs who start the day with powder and water protein shakes. Also good for a family of four with soft fruit smoothie needs.

2/5

3 Morphy Richards Easy Blend Juice £39.99, morphyrichards.co.uk

First impressions: Looks like a normal blender masquerading as a personal blender. I’m wary. It has three speed settings, which is all wrong. Mornings require simple one-button actions. There’s only one attachable beaker and it’s a whopping 750ml; the drink-through beaker lid is comically oversized too.

Green juice: While the previous two were grass cuttings on the palate, this is grass cuttings on the eye. The avocado got blended. There is that. Otherwise, just tufts of ginger and a decent-sized bit of apple.

Protein shake: I feel a bit like Goldilocks drinking Daddy Bear’s oat-fortified protein shake through the giant beaker lid. An oat gets stuck in my teeth. It’s like porridge. The nutrition is locked firmly inside my hemp seeds. I’ll never get at it. Apparently my own digestive tract is totally incapable of breaking them up (according to the Nutri-bible) so I’ve wasted an expensive ingredient.

Who is this for? People who are less het-up about getting their fibre and juice in one hit. I have no doubt that this is an excellent juice extractor; but as a personal blender, it’s not up to much.

1/5

4 Magic Bullet £44.99, lakeland.co.uk

First impressions: The predecessor to the Nutribullet (by the same manufacturers). It looks very similar, though the plastic part on top is more reminiscent of a time capsule than a water bottle or blender. There are too many gizmos – where would you store them all? There’s another dome-shaped cup, and four additional cups with Olympic ring-coloured rims, black lids with and without holes. Notably, there’s an extra blade, a flat one with two prongs for milling. What it doesn’t have is a drink-through lid; it’s either a cup, or it’s totally capped, disastrous for in-car slurping. Its sizeable recipe booklet is written like a comic and is quite an enjoyable read.

Green juice: Definitely the best yet, but still not quite good enough when you’re putting in kale stalks. Mostly smooth, with some bits.

Protein shake: The blades have whittled several of the almonds into balls. Consulting the instructions, I move the machine like a cocktail shaker and the harder ingredients are crushed. There’s still a touch of graininess, but it’s enjoyable.

Who is this for? This is a great, compact gadget. It’s lightweight too, so a good option for travelling chefs and those who take their blenders on holiday – a growing breed.

3/5

5 Nutribullet £79.99, lakeland.co.uk

First impressions: It shouts at me: “STOP THROWING DISEASE-FIGHTING NUTRITION DOWN THE DRAIN!” It looks like the Gherkin. It’s weighty and solid, with a lovely texture, as if it’s clad in vanillin crystals. The blades are far bigger than any other so far, which is only fitting because this is “the all new, revolutionary Extractor Blade”. It comes with a spare 500ml cup and a 680ml. The “life coach”-style user guide and recipe book feature so many jubilant couples I wonder if there’s some sort of tie-in to Match.com. It includes 20 pages where you can write about your “journey”.

Green juice: I can drink this! We can all drink this. Apart from the very occasional giveaway speck of cucumber skin, this could be an avocado smoothie. It has a slight texture, but it is uniform and very fine.

Protein shake: On the eye – all berry skin traces are gone – and to taste, it’s the smoothest yet. This could have been sieved.

Who is this for? Everyone, clearly.

5/5

6 Nutri Ninja £99.95, johnlewis.com

First impressions: Where the Nutribullet has curves, this has angles. There’s a load of stuff about “auto-IQ technology” and “one-touch intelligence”, and something to do with its digital display, which made me really excited about unwrapping it. There is a refreshing lack of extra parts. We’re back to one blade. Apart from a large, solid base there are two cups – 500ml and 650ml.

Green juice: This machine works like a breadmaker. It starts doing its thing, then it rests, then it takes up again. The resultant juice is excellent.

Protein shake: Smoother still. Never mind the sieve, this has been through fine mesh muslin.

Who is this for? Busy people who don’t have 10 seconds in a row in the morning to operate their Nutribullet; they need their personal blenders to have personal brains. People who like to delegate.

5/5

7 Vitamix S30 £399, ukjuicers.com

First impressions: Vitamix has a cultish reputation in juicing circles. I’m well aware of its pulverising properties, and I’m looking forward to experiencing them. It looks like a mini-version of a normal Vitamix (though it’s lacking a mini-price tag). Comes with a double capacity jug attachment. The two 600ml beakers are the most robust drinking vessels I have ever come across – they would survive a canyon drop, their nutrients intact. The way the flip-top lid opens and closes is especially nice; I find myself opening and closing it for a while. (Double insulation to maintain hot and cold).

Green juice: The beaker is deceptively slimline, resulting in some teething problems when it comes to filling it. Once that’s ironed out, the ingredients are pureed into oblivion. Green velvet.

Protein shake: White silk.

Who is this for? Juice bars. Property developers kitting out W1 penthouses. Sunbathing fanatics looking to drastically increase their carotene intake (no other machine handles carrots like this machine handles carrots). Me. You. Anyone who wants the best of something – as long as money’s no object.

4/5