Hello, you little winner, it’s me again, Joe Wicks, the Body Coach. What do you mean, you don’t remember me? I’d better fill you in. Fifteen minutes ago, I published a book, Lean in 15: 15 Minute Meals and Workouts to Keep You Lean and Healthy, that has unexpectedly stayed in the bestseller charts for more than 15 minutes. So in the last 15 minutes, I have just written another book about doing exactly the same thing in 15 minutes to cash in on my 15 minutes – and counting – of fame.

My aim is always to keep things quick and simple because, to be honest, like most people, I can’t concentrate for more than 15 minutes. So if you found, as a lot of people did, that many of the recipes in the first book couldn’t actually be completed in 15 minutes – unless you gave up and just ate a lot of food that wasn’t quite ready – you may be in for more of the same.

My first book told you how to “shift yourself lean”, allowing you to shift lard by the kilo in just 15 minutes each day. This second book is quite different because it is going to teach you how to “shape yourself lean” in just 15 minutes every day. With the first book, you lost shedloads of lard in 15 minutes but bizarrely remained exactly the same shape as you were 15 minutes previously. But with this new book, you are definitely going to be a different shape.

The Shape Plan is definitely not a diet book. I don’t believe in diets. That’s why you won’t find any calorie-counting here as some of you would be horrified to find you were eating high-calorie meals. My basic rule of thumb is that you can eat anything you want in 15 minutes providing you then go and exercise afterwards. Curiously, the exercises will take you rather longer than 15 minutes if you want to shape yourself lean in 15 minutes.

Here’s a brief repeat about what I’ve just said in case you have already forgotten. When you’re leading a busy 15-minute life, it can be hard to keep up with what you did in the previous 15 minutes. The recipes in this book are broken down into three groups: 1) Reduced-carbohydrate meals with lashings of protein powder; 2) Carbohydrate rich meals with lashings of protein powder; 3) Snacks and treats with lashings of protein powder. So let’s get on with the recipes. And remember, if you want to monitor your progress, take photos of yourself every 15 minutes.

Chicken satay skewers. (Serves 1) Preheat the grill for 15 minutes. Soak the wooden stick for 15 minutes. Make a bowl of satay sauce for 15 minutes with peanut butter and stuff. Cut the chicken into cubes and marinate in satay sauce for 15 minutes. Cook under grill for 15 minutes. Serve with a garnish of protein powder. (NB: this recipe might take slightly longer than 15 minutes.)

Pear and cranberry 15 Minutes overnight oats (Serves 1) Put the pears, oats, yoghurt, cranberries and protein powder into a blender and blitz for 15 minutes. Then put in the fridge for a minimum of six hours. Eat next day with some more pears and cranberries. (NB: this recipe might take slightly longer than 15 minutes.)

Lamb tagine (Serves 2) If you have been rigorously following my “shape yourself lean” in 15 minutes plan, you should now have lost enough fat to be seen out in public. Hence this recipe serves two. Put some lamb chunks, protein powder and some other bits into a tagine and cook for 90 minutes. This may sound like it takes longer than 15 minutes but try to remember that 90 minutes is really only six periods of 15 minutes. (NB: this recipe might take slightly longer than 15 minutes.)

Now for the hard bit. You didn’t think you were going to get away with eating all that food without having to burn off excess calories, did you? So here’s the deal. You train four times a week minimum. Forget the 15 minutes rubbish, this is going to be brutal. Real brutal. First start with some really tough interval training for roughly 20 minutes. By now you should be feeling half-dead. Well, tough. Now go straight to the gym and do 10 sets of 10 bench presses with one minute’s rest between each. Feel the burn. Don’t even think of quitting, wimp. Now back to the cardio and another half-hour of gruelling interval training. Finish with another 10 sets of bench presses. (NB: this workout might take slightly longer than 15 minutes.)

Digested read, digested: The Andy Warhol diet.