Good news at last for strong, heterosexual men who conform to masculine stereotypes: women tend to be more attracted to you than they are to weak men. It seems those downtrodden, marginalised, overlooked alpha males may actually have something going for them after all. The wonders of science, eh?

There might now follow, from a decidedly sub-Herculean specimen like me, a stream of wry self-deprecation. There might be references to bits of my body that are particularly podgy or scrawny, by way of humorous contrast with the ideal. Were this social media, I might post a picture of my hairier-than-I’d-like shoulders. I might respond to this latest confirmation of beta-male inferiority with attempts at irony or wit.

But there’s something about this study, and the way it has been reported, that makes me feel uneasy. Because other men might respond by pumping themselves full of steroids. They might respond with feelings of inadequacy or shame. They might respond by believing that the best way to attract a woman is to be more stereotypically manly. And all of those responses carry danger.

You don’t need to be a men’s rights activist to be troubled by the academics’ language. They talk of “weaker men of poorer quality”. And the study is widely reported in a way which, were the genders and physical attributes changed accordingly, would surely be unacceptable: “Some women may claim that chiselled abs and giant biceps are not what they are seeking in a man. But a scientific study suggests that if your female partner tells you this, she is probably just being kind,” begins the Guardian’s own article. I’d also suggest that it might not necessarily be regarded as acceptable for a headline to advise women to beef up or thin out any part of their body to attract the opposite sex. And there would surely be something a little troubling about men being asked to rate headless torsos of women.

Now, I appreciate the limits of flipping genders like this. We still live in a male-dominated society, and we are perhaps only now beginning to understand the extent and effects of patriarchy in terms of abuse, harassment and violence against women. There is plainly far more need for an International Women’s Day than there is for an International Men’s Day – just as there is relatively little need for a White Lives Matter campaign or Straight Pride rallies. And men have long been able to mock and traduce themselves based on their physicality, as decades of Mr Muscle adverts attest.

But there surely does come a point where we have to take seriously questions regarding the depiction of men who differ from an idealised masculine norm. In the UK, suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45.

While there are many and complex reasons why men take their lives, one of the key risk factors in male suicide in Australia has been identified as unhelpful conceptions of masculinity – the “tough Aussie bloke” stereotype, in particular. Moreover, it plays into the idea of “manning up’, which has physical as well as emotional connotations. And it reinforces those gender stereotypes that cause so much harm to women and men alike.

Some may argue that we have nothing to fear from the truth: if women really do prefer strong men, then why not be honest about it? But perhaps we should instead question the value of studies like these. They get headlines, for sure, and they must be invaluable to marketeers, casting directors and modelling agencies – who will then just reinforce notions of what is considered attractive.

In fact, ideas of attractiveness vary from culture to culture, suggesting there is more going on than some innate animalistic desire; that, to some extent, we find attractive what we’re told we find attractive. This study may well be helping in a small way to create the ideals it is attempting to analyse.

Yes, chubbier men may be comforted by the finding that their strength is regarded as more important than their shape. But how much healthier we and our world would be if we accepted and loved ourselves and each other as we are, rather than how we think we should be.

• Peter Ormerod is a journalist with a particular interest in religion, culture and gender.