I’ve got my dream job as a developer, but I can’t stand my colleagues – I find them boring, self-obsessed and workshy. What do I do? Do I have to leave?
Don’t complain about your circumstances; change them. You have two options: a new job or a new team (the final one – accepting your situation – is unfathomable to me if you’re not happy). Within those two choices, you have to consider which is more achievable and which will give you long-term satisfaction.

The point here is that you are in control of your life, and your life should be something of your own design, not a thing in which you are a passive participant. While listening to a Stoic philosophy podcast in the car, my seven-year-old son piped up, “So the only thing I can really control is myself?” I had to hold down my excitement and awe as he grasped a concept that took me 30 years to understand.

When making difficult decisions, I always turn to a spreadsheet to clarify my thoughts. You say this is your dream job? Make a list of reasons why. Then think about if this is the only company with those qualities; if it isn’t, list the other companies in the columns next to them. Research these companies: is it worth the move? Do you see them as the next stepping stone for your career? If so, start planning.

If your current company is uniquely special, consider whether there’s another team you can join within the business. Or if you’re feeling really bold, you could wage a campaign to get rid of your colleagues for underperformance. Arrange a meeting with your superior to discuss the problems concretely and take small steps to create the work environment that suits you. Think of yourself as the turnaround boss of your team.

Whatever you decide, the choice is yours.

• Send your questions for Sharmadean to bossing.it@theguardian.com

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