The equipment at the Commando Temple, a gym near my home, looks like the set of a film about marauders. They have their own Conan’s wheel with a built-in Viking press. The only way I can describe this is using language I don’t understand: it’s a long bar sticking up from a pivot, with a weight loaded between the pivot and the strong person, who then lifts the bar with her forearms. They have giant tyres, kegs, pulling harnesses, ropes, prowlers. More than that, they have women who know how to use all those things.

It’s an incredible kick, the first time you do a chin-up. Or so I’ve heard. But you’ll never get there (and I haven’t got there, and maybe I genuinely never will get there) if you don’t have form. After one session, I could easily imagine dying by accident (just from being so tired that everything stopped) but I could not imagine simply becoming better. That’s when I got a coach, Lucy Fry; amateur boxer, author, speaker.

You’re bound to be knackered after every session. I couldn’t even think straight, sometimes. (“You could try walking downstairs backwards,” Fry said at one point. “I don’t want to.” “Fine. Stay upstairs.”) But there is plenty you can do without the full barbarian equipment, which means you can use a regular gym, work on your own (once you have the form mastered), do shorter sessions, concentrate on your technique.

The back squat and the deadlift are the two core moves: great for your whole body, but working especially your core and hamstrings. The moves will be familiar to anyone who’s done a pump class, but the emphasis is different. This really is about strength, so there are fewer repetitions and much heavier weights. “You do have to go quite heavy for it to really make a difference,” Fry says. “A lot of women think they’re going heavy but they’re not at all, whereas guys go the opposite way – they chuck too much on.”

I was never scared of the deadlift; if it goes wrong, you just drop it. So I got to 40 kilos on those in my fourth session. I have always been terrified of the back squat, because it involves an uncontrolled moment when you have to heave a great big weight on to your back. That’s because I was doing it wrong – failing to brace my core, relying on momentum. When you’re really strong, you should be aiming to deadlift twice your body weight and back squat one and a half times your body weight. “But if you could back squat just your body weight, you’d be pretty strong,” Fry said, encouragingly. Currently, I can deadlift two‑thirds of my body weight, and back squat about a quarter.

“People also cross-reference this against your training age,” Fry said, which turns out to mean the length of time you’ve been training for. “Right now you’re in minus years. By my reckoning, this makes anything above zero a triumph.” The only way I know I’m stronger after four weeks is that I’m less destroyed by it.

It’s a life’s work, becoming a strongwoman.

What I learned

If you train twice a week, you need to increase your protein intake, too.

• Contact your local gym for weight-training classes.