Baby loss charities have called for a cultural shift to empower couples to talk more openly about pregnancy before their 12-week scan, in an effort to break the silence around miscarriage.

Baby loss experts praised the Duchess of Sussex for speaking openly about having had a miscarriage and said that too often women and their partners still felt stifled and silenced by outdated cultural norms.

Meghan, writing in the New York Times, described the moment that she “dropped to the floor” in pain as she was changing the couple’s son Archie’s nappy at their home in Los Angeles. “I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child that I was losing my second,” she wrote.

Clea Harmer, the chief executive at stillbirth and neonatal death charity Sands, said miscarriage was often “a devastating and isolating experience”, adding: “When someone like the Duchess of Sussex speaks out it can help people feel less alone and more able to reach out for help.”

Meghan did not disclose how far along her pregnancy had been, but Harmer said it was very common not to discuss a pregnancy openly before the 12-week stage, despite no guidance stating this should be the case.

“If people don’t know you’re pregnant it can be much, much harder to tell friends and family about a miscarriage or seek support,” she said. “There are also practical reasons why it is useful to discuss a pregnancy in the earlier stages, because that is when women often feel the most sick and tired, but unable to ask for help and support.”

She added that talking about pregnancy and loss may not be right for all couples, but every couple should be empowered to seek support.

Lizzie D’Angelo, research and policy director at Tommy’s, which funds research into stillbirth, premature birth and miscarriage, said the honesty of high-profile figures such as Chrissy Teigen, who earlier this year shared her devastation at losing her baby on social media, was helping to change the conversation.

Teigen shared the experience of her stillbirth publicly in candid social media posts, which included photographs of herself and her husband, the musician John Legend, grieving the loss of their son at the hospital.

While she was praised by many, she faced criticism in some quarters for sharing such a raw moment. In a blogpost published a few weeks after she first went public about the couple’s loss, Teigen hit back at critics. “I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like,” she wrote.

D’Angelo said: “Their testimonies, and some people’s reaction it, unfortunately shows not only that baby loss can happen to anyone, but also how far we have to go in making it acceptable to talk about.”

The barriers were even greater for fathers and partners, who often struggled to articulate their own grief, she added. According to a study led by Imperial College London one in 12 partners experience post-traumatic stress after miscarriage.

“[Men and partners] feel this expectation that they should be strong and not share any feelings but the mental health issues that can result from thinking that you have to be a rock can be enormous,” she said.

Elliott Rae, the founder of musicfootballfatherhood.com, a parenting and lifestyle platform for men, said an increasing number of men were seeking support but many still felt they didn’t have the “right” to talk about miscarriage. “Masculinity tells us that we can’t show vulnerability or weakness,” he said. “We need more safe spaces and more role models so men can talk about things like miscarriage.”

Ruth Bender Atik, national director of The Miscarriage Association, said there had been a shift in the conversation after Scotland’s first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, revealed she had had a miscarriage, and said the Duchess of Sussex’s honesty would have a profound impact.

“She has started a powerful conversation,” she said. “I hope people will listen to her advice. If you hear someone has had a miscarriage, ask if they are OK and tell them you are sorry for their loss – they will know that you care.”