The prosecution: Simon

I would like my girlfriend to stop reusing teabags, and not to leave her half-drunk mugs of tea all over our flat

Emma reuses teabags all the time. She picks them out of old mugs of milky water or leaves them on the kitchen counter for later. I think it’s weird and gross. All that old milk will have been absorbed into the teabag.

She’s always making new cups of tea because she forgets how many she has on the go. Our flat is full of half-drunk mugs that she’s lost track of. She doesn’t know how long they’ve been sitting there.

I will open the curtain in the morning and there will be three mugs, all full, all with the teabag still in, sitting on the window ledge. I will go to the bathroom and knock over a cup of tea that’s behind the door, and then there’ll be a mug on the side of the bath, too. Recently when I was putting the clothes in the dryer, I found a teabag which had exploded in the washing. I’ve even found a teabag in the drain of the shower – what the hell is that about?

She says reusing old teabags is an eco-friendly decision but that’s nonsense: the environment-friendly part is completely cancelled out by the fact that she throws away so much tea on a daily basis – because she forgets to finish her drinks.

We work from home together now and I only really need one or two cups a day, but Emma asks for one every 20 minutes, even though she will have a full cup beside her. She says, “Oh, I forgot to drink it”, and tries to defend it by saying she will reuse the bag, but she doesn’t reuse as much as she wastes.

Emma needs to stop kidding herself that she is saving tea by picking out the teabags from old cups – that’s just making an excuse for her absent-mindedness. And anyway, teabags are designed for single use, otherwise the flavour goes right out of them – everybody knows that.

The defence: Emma

It’s fine to use teabags more than once and, as for leaving cups lying around: I’m the one who does the most cleaning

I come from a long line of teabag reusers. In my family home, by the kettle, there’s a ramekin, a mug with an old teabag and a tea-stained spoon. It’s ingrained. I grew up on a farm where we reuse food. My grandparents say “waste not want not”.

I don’t think teabags are single-use – you can drink from the same one up to three times. People brew tea for up to five minutes, so I make lots of mini brews with the same bag. I’ve found that an oily scum sticks to the side of the mug after one go – you brew that out with subsequent usage. Simon says this is unhygienic. I tell him he needs to think about the planet and stop having a meltdown over tea.

Earlier in the pandemic my dad died and I went home to the farm. Simon came to support me, my mum, my brother and grandparents. We all drank a lot of tea – dealing with grief. One day Simon had a blow-out at me and my brother, who also reuses teabags and leaves each one on the side of the kitchen counter. Simon said we were absent-minded, don’t put stuff away, and should try meditation. He was sniffing the fresh produce and checking the [use-by] dates. I told him he needs to try reusing more stuff as in our shared flat he wastes a lot.

Simon says I’m using my family history to justify a bad habit, but it’s how I was raised. I drink more tea in the relationship. I won’t apologise for reusing the bags; it’s helping to save the environment.

Sometimes I leave old mugs around the house, but so what? I’m the tidy one in the relationship. I do all the hoovering, mopping and dusting. Simon leaves crumbs over the table – he creates dirt, while I just reuse things and sometimes forget where I leave cups. I don’t think he can take the moral high ground: his bad habits aren’t comparable to my hereditary teabag habit.

The jury of Guardian readers

Should Emma throw her teabags away after each use?

I imagine teabags can be multi-use for one person – though sharing teabags risks spreading diseases. There are many other uses for teabags – for example in gardening – that are maybe less contentious.
Corinne, 52

The biggest crime here is the weak tea. A teabag should make one decent cuppa. Putting that aside, Emma should reuse the teabags but be consistent: milk and water are resources too, and she doesn’t seem too bothered about wasting those.
Adam, 48

Simon, Simon, Simon. There are much more important things than mugs lying around the house and triple-dunked teabags. It’s a well-known fact that if you want to comment on your partner’s housekeeping, your contribution to it must be unimpeachable. Do more tidying, Simon, then you can have an opinion. Maybe.
Charlotte, 43

I have no issue with using a teabag for multiple brews, but the prospect of semi-drunk mugs lurking around the home is a mouldy surprise waiting to happen. Treat each brew with the respect it deserves and drink up!
Dan, 28

Emma’s statement sounds less judgmental. This conflict isn’t really about teabags or the Earth: what is the real tension you’re trying to negotiate? You both waste and make mess because you’re imperfect – don’t be so hard on each other. Try coming from a softer place and talk emotions, not morals.
Anne Marie, 31

You be the judge

So now you can be the judge, click on the poll below to tell us: should Emma stop reusing teabags? We’ll share the results on next week’s You be the judge.

The poll is now closed

Last week’s result

Last week, we asked if Naila was being too picky with her baby’s name, something that annoys her husband, Ameen.

93% of you said no – Naila is innocent
7% of you said yes – Naila is guilty