Christmas may be pleasant, but as a single, almost 30-year-old woman, I can’t deny the stress that arises when the festive season rolls around. Perhaps it’s the internal stressors of not being where I imagined myself to be at this age – no kids, no husband, no beautiful big home and a puppy.

Maybe it’s the external stress from the societal pressures and expectations of women during this time: to be the best host, to provide the most perfect Christmas experience or simply, to have it all together. Outside our own orbit, there’s also the stress that we take on from current affairs, not least the cost of living crisis and political instability.

There’s not enough mulled wine, presents or snow to blanket the overwhelming burden felt by women at this time of year. This is vastly different to our male counterparts as shown by a recent study which found 51% of women said Christmas was stressful compared with 35% of men. This is likely because of societal expectation that women should do more during the holidays, something constantly reinforced in modern culture and played out in movies, where we see the frantic wife in a mad dash to buy presents, clean the home and cook a dinner, while her husband drinks a beer on the couch. These stereotypes still stand even as we seek to close the gender gap.

This is the first “post-pandemic” Christmas, where depending on where you live, you have the opportunity to be with family and loved ones. While this is brilliant, it also adds the pressure of having to make everything perfect, to compensate for the last two or three years and really wow our guests. With this pressure comes the emotional labour of hosting, which includes buying everyone gifts, whipping up a delicious five-course meal and ensuring everyone is having a great time. But, in the midst of this, we forget about our own needs and do not take the opportunity to enjoy ourselves.

What can women do this festive season to help alleviate some of the pressure? By definition, stress is a physiological response to an internal and external demand and the way to ease it is to create a better response to it. In order to do this, we have to be aware of how stress manifests in our minds and body. This is where mindfulness and meditation can come in handy. Try to notice the different thoughts, emotions and sensations that arise when you are experiencing stress. From there, there are several ways you can choose to respond.

First, try practising self-care and self-compassion. It’s not uncommon to be swept away by the frenzy of gatherings, yet balancing that social time with self-care is important. Try to identify two or three small ways you can pour energy into yourself in the same way as you pour energy into others. Maybe your self-care looks like going for a walk outside, setting boundaries around your social time, or scheduling in some specific me time. If you have 12 minutes to spare, you can also try a short meditation course. This encourages you to let go of any judgments or criticisms and create a feeling of spaciousness and acceptance. In the event you do not even have 12 minutes to spare, give yourself some grace. Extending ourselves some self-compassion can help to stop from adding to the stress we already have.

Second, practise mindfulness. Take a few deep breaths, check in with your mind and body and try to approach situations in a non-judgmental way. Just a few moments, practised regularly, can aid with being present and enjoying this time of year to the best of your ability.

Lastl, reach out to friends or loved ones for support. Often, we may think we’re alone in how we’re feeling, but when we share how we’re feeling with others, we’ll quickly realise how many others feel the exact same way. You may also be surprised how quickly help is offered – it is the season of giving after all.

• Dora Kamau is a mindfulness meditation teacher at Headspace, who teaches the holiday perfectionism meditation