I first experienced erection problems around four years ago. My mother had suddenly passed away and one of my brothers was in a coma due to an unrelated accident. I was stressed, grieving, and bottling it up inside, which affected my libido.

While my partner and I had previously had a fairly active sex life, I began looking for any excuse to avoid having sex. I later found out that she thought I might have been having an affair, because I kept buying her flowers and putting off being intimate. I hoped that if I avoided the issue long enough, it would eventually go away on its own. But after about six to eight months, I decided that enough was enough and spoke to a doctor, who discussed ways to manage stress and prescribed Viagra.

Once there was a solution in place, I opened up to my partner, which was a big weight off both our shoulders. I wish that I had got help sooner, as it would have avoided a lot of hurt and worry for both of us. Now we’re closer than ever and can enjoy being intimate again, rather than me worrying each time she suggests a date night.

I have even spoken to a few mates about my erection problems. It’s not the most comfortable subject, but I hope it might help them avoid making the same mistakes that I did.

• Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com. All submissions are published anonymously, and subject to our terms and conditions.

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