In the late 19th-century America, a somewhat bizarre form of abstinence emerged. The vice was not alcohol but anxiety. Citizens of New York began to attend regular “Don’t Worry Clubs” in which they encouraged each other to look on the bright side of life. Their founder, Theodore Seward, argued that Americans were “slaves to the worrying habit”, which was the “enemy which destroys happiness”. It needed to be “attacked” with “resolute and persevering effort”.

By the early 20th century, the psychologist William James described how people had developed a kind of “religion of healthy-mindedness” with the aim of turning the mind away from all negative thoughts and feelings.

Today, we seem to be living in a global Don’t Worry Club. Books, magazines, podcasts and TV shows frequently outline the dangers of stress. Many assume that anxious feelings are inherently and inevitably bad for us in the short and long term – and that they must be eliminated.

Surprisingly enough, however, a growing body of research suggests that it is our beliefs about our feelings, as much as the feelings themselves, that determine their effects on the brain and body. Negative views of stress and anxiety often exacerbate our problems. And by learning to view these uncomfortable feelings more positively, we may even be able to use some forms of stress to our advantage.

To understand how this may be so, let’s consider a concrete example. Imagine that you are facing a difficult exam or an interview that is going to determine your future career path. If you are like most people, your pulse will speed up, and your rate of breathing might increase too – and you may well assume that this stress response will damage your performance. How are you meant to concentrate, after all, if it feels as if your heart is about to break through your rib cage?

Now consider an alternative possibility: the “physiological arousal” that you are experiencing is an evolved response that helps you to deal with new challenges. Heavier breathing, for example, fills your lungs with oxygen, and the racing pulse ensures that your blood can carry fuel to the brain – changes that should sharpen your thinking. Rather than attempting to suppress your feelings, you can go with the flow – knowing that they could give your performance a boost.

Studies have now shown that simply presenting these facts to anxious people can help to shift their attitudes, so they no longer interpret these sensations as a sign of impending failure. And that, in turn, improves their performance on difficult challenges, such as maths tests – sometimes by a considerable margin.

Apart from these cognitive changes, our attitudes to stress can also alter the way we perceive our environment, and what we learn from it. When faced with a potentially unpleasant task such as public speaking, for example, people who see stress as enhancing are more likely to focus on positive aspects of the scene before them (such as the smiling faces in a crowded room) rather than dwelling on potential signs of threat or hostility. They also become proactive – deliberately seeking feedback and searching for constructive ways to cope, rather than trying to hide from the problem at hand – and their thinking becomes more flexible and creative as a result.

Our beliefs may even change our physiological responses to stressful situations. When people are taught that stress can enhance their performance and contribute to personal growth, they tend to show more muted fluctuations in the so-called “stress hormone” cortisol – just enough to keep them more alert, without putting them in a long-lasting state of panic. They also experience a sharper spike in beneficial “anabolic” hormones, such as DHEAS and testosterone, which can help repair the body’s tissues. (For people who see stress as dangerous or debilitating, there is barely any increase.)

Overall, it seems that negative beliefs about anxiety and stress create a kind of vicious cycle that pushes us into ever more catastrophic ways of thinking. The result is that the body and brain start to react more and more as if they are in real physical danger and the only option is fight or flight. If we begin to see those feelings as a potential source of energy and motivation, however, we can break that cycle.

There is even evidence that the way we feel about stress can influence our overall longevity. One US study tracked the health of more than 28,000 people over eight years, with questionnaires that measured people’s stress levels as well as their beliefs about the effects of that stress. Among people with high levels, those with the negative views were considerably more likely to die than those who believed that stress was harmless. Importantly, this was true even when the scientists controlled for a host of other lifestyle factors, such as income, education, physical activity and smoking. It’s important to be careful when interpreting correlational findings like this. But given the experimental work showing that worrying about stress results in a worse physiological response in the moment, it’s plausible that the effects could add up over time to influence long-term health.

It’s not necessarily easy to pull off this shift in attitude, of course. Western culture generally teaches us to get stressed about stress – and the habit can become deeply ingrained. This is not about “toughing it out”, which, if you’re struggling to cope, can be a recipe for disaster. Nor is it about learning to simply put up with unacceptable workloads or damaging relationships. But as you encounter some of life’s smaller challenges, consider whether you might begin to view your anxiety a little more kindly, as a potential source of energy and resilience. To misquote Shakespeare’s Hamlet, stress may be neither good nor bad – but thinking makes it so.

• David Robson’s The Expectation Effect: How Your Mindset Can Transform Your Life is published by Canongate (£18.99). To support The Guardian and Observer, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.

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Further reading

The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You (and How to Get Good at It) by Kelly McGonigal (Vermilion, £12.99)

Chatter: The Voice in Our Head (and How to Harness It) by Ethan Kross (Vermilion, £9.99)

Stress-proof: The Ultimate Guide to Living a Stress-Free Life by Mithu Storoni (Yellow Kite, £9.99)