If the acronym RSVP sends you into a horizontal position, you’re not alone.
Covid-19 infections are still high and impacting on our health and psyche, plus it’s flu season, an unusually bitter blast of winter has arrived in the southern states and the rising cost of living means less cash to splash around.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that, in April this year as compared to March 2020, almost twice as many of us worked from home one or more times a week, fewer exercised regularly at a gym or played sports (29% compared with 38%) or attended social gatherings (20% compared with 27%.)
Research by thinktank Mainstreet Insights of 1,001 Australians aged over 18 suggests that while life has gone back to normal for many Australians, some are experiencing social atrophy – similar to when our muscles are underused for long periods.
“When I think about facing the world, I need a lie-down,” says the brand consultant and mother-of-two Lynne Bennett, who describes herself before Covid-19 as very socially active.
“I’ve lived the last two years in activewear and the thought of doing the whole getting dressed up ritual is overwhelming.
“There is also a general feeling of fear and exhaustion, exacerbated by constant negativity in the news, that would need to dissipate before I would get excited about going out again.”
She adds: “I would also love to go somewhere the conversation is a bit more buoyant.”
Like Bennett, many of us don’t want to take off our tracksuit, press ourselves against others in a crowd, or even socialise with people or at places where we once enjoyed close contact, trivial conversations and flirting.
This reluctance to leave home is even more pronounced in vulnerable groups, including cancer patients, transplant recipients and people on immunosuppressive drugs, who have been stuck in a type of perpetual lockdown since the pandemic began in March 2020.
Ashley Fell, of Mainstreet Insights’ research partner McCrindle, says for many the impact of the pandemic on people’s social health has been bigger than on their physical health: “So many of us spent so long in lockdown and isolation that it taught us to treat other people with fear.”
Although Australians largely describe themselves as social and outgoing (56%), almost half (48%) strongly or somewhat agreed that they are choosing to spend more time on their own as a result of the pandemic.
“The idea that there’s no certainty that we’re safe … is further fuelling this trend,” says the New South Wales psychotherapist Shirley Hughes. “At the same time, the idea of staying at home more has been normalised ... Even if we were very social, we feel that it is acceptable not to make the effort any more.”
Fell says a further sign of “reduced social agility” is a diminished appetite for planning. “We … feel it is too risky to plan for fun activities because there is a very real risk that, after a lot of effort, they could be cancelled.”
The benefits of getting out and about
While Fell acknowledges that current national and world events are still impacting on our party personalities, she says: “We believe it’s good for people to get out and about and we want to encourage people to do more of that.”
Human connection is just as crucial for vulnerable Australians, although they may want to continue to practice Covid-safe behaviours such as wearing a high-quality respirator mask indoors and avoiding settings that are too crowded.
Counterintuitively, social contact may actually make us all feel less anxious, says Hughes. “Human connection helps buffer our response to stress.”
The event manager Doug Garske says he has pushed through his fear period. “This big, scary pandemic is no longer enough to make us, personally, frightened to go out, even if we are notified about doing a Covid test afterwards,” he says.
“My wife, Linda, and I went to a masquerade ball at the Art Gallery of NSW with 200 other people. We were sitting next to each other, talking, and having a great time.”
But he acknowledges not everyone can do the same. “I fully accept that some people may be more affected by the fear of the unknown than we are, or more at risk of illness.”
Start with small steps
Some people who have had Covid-19 may initially feel a little worn out and a need to rest. Talk to your health practitioner about what is normal or not, and pay attention to lifestyle factors including nutrition, sleep and stress.
Once health is restored, it’s a good time to work on social connections, something that has been shown by numerous scientific studies to be crucial to both wellness and longevity.
To overcome initial fears, Hughes suggests that critical thinking may be imperative: What are the actual risks to our health and safety? What can be done to reduce those risks?
If you are feeling particularly vulnerable in crowds, you have the right to wear a mask without feeling embarrassed – it’s a personal choice.
You may also choose to only attend uncrowded spaces, or bundle up and try outdoor events at first, rather than indoor gatherings where there are more people and less airflow.
When deciding whether to get on with our lives, we also need to consider that one in five of us are reporting very high levels of psychological stress linked to the pandemic and may benefit from companionship.
Fell suggests that, in reintegrating into the social scene, we practice empathy for the socially anxious and the vulnerable, and increase communication about what will be required ahead of social events. She also suggests taking an intentional approach to making plans.
In building our social schedule back up, Hughes urges us to specifically consider what we would like our “new normal” to be and which activities we miss doing most, then take steps towards them.
“Select one or two things to start with, even if that’s a walk with a friend … and create your own pathway back to freedom. Check in with friends and support one another to get your mojo back.”
“While there is that part of us that has become very comfortable with being at home, another part of us is yearning for human interaction and connection.”
