The media frenzy last week surrounding Melissa Smith's abortion followed the usual trajectory. The more frantically ideological the debate became, the less information it offered.

So - while those with daughters aged 14-16 now know the law does not require we be told if they have abortions, and while we also know we are unlikely to be involved anyway, except in 'extreme cases' - we have no idea who makes these decisions or how they make them. Neither do we know what care and support a girl can expect if she chooses not to involve her family.

So how good is the support system, and what are the rules? The Department of Health guidelines may not be known to most parents, but they could not be clearer. Fourteen-year-olds seeking abortions must be seen by two doctors and deemed 'Gillick competent' - have 'sufficient understanding and intelligence to enable them to understand fully what is involved in a proposed intervention'. However, it is 'good practice to encourage the child to inform his or her parents unless it would clearly not be in the child's best interests to do so'.

As Liz Davies, head of UK Operations at Marie Stopes, points out, the law is there to protect the child. 'We can never assume that any young girl's parents will be supportive and on her side. And if we refused an abortion on the grounds that she refuses to tell her parents, we put her at risk.'

'We encourage them to tell parents,' says a GP who prefers to remain anonymous, 'because they need support for a termination, We have often known the girls since they are born and would know if there were any problems in the house. I am much more comfortable if the parents know about it, but that has to come from the child, not from me.'

However, Fiona Pugh, a psychotherapist who has worked with teenagers, says many feel unable to speak to their parents. 'The teens I have worked with do not take abortion lightly. They make the same reasoned arguments as adults. What is different is that they are not in a position, physically, emotionally or financially, to bring up a child. It's essential we have organisations that can help them and it's imperative that they have confidentiality.'

However, many girls in this age group are often unaware that they have this right. According to the Brooks Advisory Service, 25 per cent of under-16s put off visiting a sexual health service because of worries about confidentiality, compared with 12 per cent of over-16s.

Professor Louise Wallace, professor of psychology and health at Coventry University, who has run a number of surveys in the Midlands and the north east looking at sexual attitudes in the 14 to 16 age group, believes teenagers may lack basic information because they are reluctant to seek advice from the adults in their lives. They do not tend to see teachers as 'role models' in the area of sexual health: many, they say, are 'not approachable, as they are often authoritative'.

The saddest thing, says Wallace, is that teenage girls who have unprotected sex can avoid the risk of pregnancy altogether by asking for emergency contraception. 'This is available freely at many pharmacists, who are trained to give counselling to young people. This is the best way to deal with risky behaviour - it is virtually without negative psychological side-effects.' However, her research has found even adults know very little about this option, so it is hardly surprising teenagers don't either.

While there are organisations offering confidential advice and help, many teenagers still go through abortions without proper support and counselling. Communication between parents and children is poor, as is communication between teachers and pupils, schools and families. Schools that try to buck the trend are subjected to trial by tabloid. This creates a culture of timidity, in which schools and agencies which are trying to help teenagers hide their achievements for fear of public ridicule.

The result is the highest teenage pregnancy rate in western Europe. But, according to people working in the field, it needn't stay that way. The first step, says Carole Easton, chief executive of Childline, is to challenge the way the papers frame the story.

'To debate parents' versus children's rights is unhelpful. Thousands of girls under 16 have abortions every year and we know children do need to be able to seek help confidentially. It's important, therefore, that we all know what services are out there, long before our children are of an age to need them,' she added.

The National Family and Parenting Institute hopes that communication between parents and children and parents and schools will improve. 'We do work to get information about what a child's rights are to parents,' a spokesperson for the institute said. 'When a child enters secondary school, a mother should know that she is entitled to have an abortion without her knowing and there can never be too much information.'

But this 'softly softly' approach is unlikely to change the way the media cover stories like Melissa's, which causes the likes of Fiona Pugh grave concern.

'I was appalled to hear this mother saying she was acting in her daughter's best interests when she'd splashed her picture all over the tabloids. People who've been "defending" her are anti-abortionists who have taken her side to further their cause. They are using this girl - abusing her. Can anyone explain to me why we've let this happen?'